A Cowboy's Heart
by southernrebel96
Summary: so i decided to once again try something different. this takes place in the world of rodeo. Rose, an early high school graduate takes on the drama of rodeo along with Lissa. Can she find love along the way? or will it back fire? rated for language
1. Chapter 1

**So heres something i thought up in class. It has abosolutely nothing to do with VA except for the characters so i dont know if its any good. i just thought i should post and see if anyone wants me to continue. for those who read my other stories. I am sooo sorry. im not sure about a sequel for king of the fairies yet. im pretty sure source of the past will remain a one shot :( i just feel that anything that i write will darg the plot out. im totally having a writers block on rose petals and white horses, though i will try to continue. high school is aboslutely kicking my butt right now, so UD's may take forever :( sorry again. anyhwho, Rose and the gang are on the rodeo circuit, i kow random, give it a shot though, it maybe worth reading. :)**

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Colorado's weather was biting as I walked from my truck to the barn. I whistled and saw my beautiful boys head pop over a gate midway down the aisle. I laughed, as did many others, as we checked in on our companions before heading to get breakfast. My closest friend, who did break away roping, Lissa and her paint horse Champ were mine and my horse, Dinero's traveling companions. Ever since her family had died, she had lived with me and my family on the MH Ranch, in Texas. Her boyfriend, Chris, rode bulls. Adrian my current boyfriend did calf roping. They were both 19. Liss and I had graduated early to join the rodeo circuit. We were now 17 almost 18 and had been apart of it for about a year and a half. My other best friend came from our high school. Dimitri Belikov. We had dated when he was a senior and I a freshman, but he graduated and joined the circuit so it hadn't really worked out afterwards. Nowadays we were almost closer than Liss and I. He was quiet and evened out my sometimes obnoxious behavior but goes along with my stupid plans anyway.

I flipped my hood and walked to Dinero. I scratched his nose and sighed. Last night Dimitri and I had stayed out late, talking and walking Dinero down from his impressive run. Well Adrian didn't like that so he stormed off to lord only knows where. He had been acting weird lately. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt a presence lean against the stall next to where I stood.

"Mornin' Roza." He had a southern accent, which laced perfect with his natural Russian one. It was sexy, I had to admit.

"Have you seen Adrian?" I asked, only for him to shake his head. He opened his arms and I gladly took the invitation. I still loved him, but I didn't want to hurt Adrian. I could see that when I was with him it hurt Dimitri though. He rode bulls and saddle broncs, but was currently out for a few fractured ribs. He hung around and helped behind the chutes for a while. I knew he loved it, but I worried everytime he nodded for the gate to open.

I inhaled his intoxicating scent. As wrong as it was, some nights I all I wanted was to be in his, not Adrian's arms. But even if I wasn't with Adrian, Dimitri had told me he wasn't looking for a relationship. I had tried to hook him up several times, knowing he wasn't the kind of person who liked being lonely. So as bad as it was, I stayed with Adrian because Dimitri probably wouldn't take me back.

Soon we were walking through the empty rodeo grounds. He stopped and starred at a huge black and white spotted bull. He slowly turned his mighty head to look at Dimitri. Dimitri starred for another minute, before continuing on, zipping his carhart jacket up further.

"Who is that?" I asked not recognizing him. He looked back with a smile.

"Your father's masterpiece. I'm surprised you didn't recognize him. You were there when he was born. We all were." Him and his riddles. I thought back to when Dimitri had worked on our livestock ranch. My dad bred rough stock for the pro rodeos. I looked back to the mighty creature and suddenly I knew.

"Deja Blu?" it was more of a question and he nodded. "You want to ride him." This time it wasn't a question. "And I'm sure that's just because he hasn't been ridden before." I knew him way to well. Again, no answer. I sighed. "I get why though." I added.

"Really?" That got a reaction.

"Yeah, if you didn't you wouldn't be you." he chuckled.

"Good 'cause I'll need someone there to cheer for me when I do." I grinned and we made our way to the chutes and stood, overlooking the arena. Dimitri's friend, Mikhail Tanner, walked up to us then. He looked after Dimitri when he first joined the circuit. He was a bull rider as well. He lloked to the skies and sighed.

"Said there was gonna be a shower before opening time. " Damn. That meant Dinero would have to work harder to keep his footing.

"Well, I shoulda bet money y'all would be off together." Adrian said, lounging against a panel. Mikhail spouted some excuse and left. Adrian walked up to me and pulled me roughly to him. I tried pushing him off, smelling alcohol. Dimitri's eyes flashed and he pulled Adrian off rather roughly. He had never acted like that before. He took one look at me and stalked off. I stood there looking at nothing. Dimitri wrapped an arm around me, promising to see me tonight.

The rain stopped after a while, just in time for the show to start. Lissa, Mia, Sydney, and I walked our horses around as cars and trucks of all kinds parked. Dinero danced and pranced, eager to get this show started. I herd a song play from the many speakers and couldn't help but notice the words.

"_I met a tall dark and handsome man_

_And I been busy makin' big plans…"_

I smiled to myself. I walked Dinero and talked to people I had never met before. I looked up and caught Dimitri's eye. He gave me a smile and continued to talk to Hans, a bronc rider, while still looking at me. I saw Liss roll her eyes at me and I stuck my tongue out at her. That's when I saw Adrian "talking" to some fan girl. I lost my smile quick. I rode over and got his attention.

"Look, I'm sorry that I continue to talk to Dimitri, but looks like you'll just have to get over it." I said with a smirk.

"O really? Well it must be over the phone seeing as how he leaves with Mikhail tomorrow to join the NFR/PBR circuit." I lost my smirk. What? Hurt shown on my face, I'm sure.

"Look Rose, I think we need to give us.." he paused to motion between us. "a break. Be honest, did you think we would last forever?" with that he turned and walked back to the slut he was with earlier. I processed everything. So that's what he meant when he said he'd need someone to cheer him on. Deja Blu was a pro bull. He was leaving the small circuit to go pro, leaving most of his friends. But most importantly, leaving me.

My heart shattered. It felt like glass, exploding and crashing down like a waterfall. Dinero and I continued to walk with the others, though I wasn't there. Soon the barrels were being set out and souvenirs were being thrown to the crowd.

Dinero hopped, sensing something was wrong with me. It took everything to hold him back. I found the spot and let him go, charging down the alley out spilling out into the ring. He turned the first and second with ease, though when we got to the third the ground was slick and his front left hoof slipped just a little, though it was just enough for my knee to catch the barrel as we turned home. I looked back as we charged back to where we started. The barrel tipped back and forth a few times before tipping to the left and rolling on the ground. I dropped my head and gave Dinero a pat anyway, knowing it wasn't his fault. My run would have been 15.005 but 5 seconds was added.

I cooled Dinero down. I hadn't seen Dimitri at all tonight. Soon, cars were crunk and the crowd began to leave. On my way back to the barn, I saw him. He was talking to the president of the PBR. He caught my eyes over the man's shoulder, but it was too late. I turned my back and walked through the door.

I walked over to Liss, who was grooming Champ. They had made an impressive run and he obviously knew.

"Hay, what do you say we head back home for a few weeks? Take a break?" I asked, needing to get away and our 200 acre ranch would be perfect.

"O my gawsh yes! I haven't seen Abe or Janine in forever!" she squealed excitedly. Then she added. "You herd?" I knew she was talking about Dimitri so I simply nodded.

We decided to leave tonight, taking shifts driving, and stop periodically to let our boys stretch. As we loaded our things into the trailer I saw a crowd of reporters swarming. I looked and saw who had their attention. Dimitri. He saw me and tried to get away, though I only shook my head, knowing if he came over here I would loose it.

His eyes grew dark in pain and desperation as he tried even harder to get to me, though it didn't work. Too soon we were headed out, and I took one more look in my rearview as Liss settled down to sleep. Dimitri and Mikhail were surrounded and they looked more than annoyed. I bit back my tears and looked forward, knowing within a day or so I would be back home.

DPOV:

I hated seeing Roza hurting, and her fighting with Adrian caused her pain. So when I agreed to go with Mikhail, I had her in mind. I knew she still loved me. And lord did I love that girl. Ever since senior year, she caught my heart and never let it go. I had ended things when I graduated, knowing that I wouldn't see here near as often I she deserved. If I was being honest, a part of me took this offer so o wouldn't have to watch her and Adrian be together. I hadn't seen him tonight though.

Something had Rose upset. When she knocked the third she clearly wasn't completely focused. I'm not saying she doesn't make mistakes, we all do. But she trained horses and wasn't even 18 yet, something had her bothered.

I wasn't sure how I was going to break the news to her though. I didn't want to see her face when I told her I was leaving this circuit, but knew I she deserved it from me.

I stood, waiting for her by the barn as people left. However, Ambrose, the PBR president had different plans. He came and began talking to me. I saw Rose and Dinero walking back to the barn, a little disheartened. She caught my gaze over his shoulder and I could see she hurt, deep inside, something was hurting her. Then I knew, someone had told her. Before I could catch her, she was inside the barn.

Reporters swarmed all over Mikhail and I, though I only wanted to see Roza, to explain. I saw her and Liss packing their things into the trailer and knew I had to get away. She looked at me, and shook her head as I tried, but that only made me more determined. It was futile though, I couldn't get away. I let pain leak into my eyes, showing her I didn't mean for it to happen like this. Too soon, I saw her tail lights drive off until I no longer saw them.

Mikhail put a comforting hand on my shoulder, knowing what I felt for her. Finally the reporters were gone. He turned to me.

"Adrian told her, right before dumping her." If my heart wasn't already broken, it surely was now.

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I know." Was all he replied. I grabbed my duffel with my chaps and things and my other with clothes and threw them in the back off my dodge. Mikhail and I made our way to Atlanta, Georgia, where we would make our debut in the PBR circuit. I sighed.

"Where were they going?" I finally broke the silence.

"Texas. Back to MH, I suppose." I thought back to the summers I had worked at the MH. That ranch was beautiful. My momma loved Roza. Before her, I was unruly and didn't mind that much. Then all I wanted was to impress her, so I started working for Abe, and changed my attitude. I don't know how but I won her heart that summer. Thinking back now, I would have stayed with her, would have found a way to see her more. I wouldn't have shoved her heart back in her face. Looking back now, I wished I could change a lot of things, though I guess I couldn't. Not now.

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**I will post pics of the characters and things on my page, check them out please :) So tell me what you think and whether i should continue :)) i love hearing from other people, good or bad, though not hateful. i have yet to have that happen and i hope it wont :))) again sorry for my abscence R&R :)))**


	2. Chapter 2

**I had some time today at school and decided to continue this story. Sorry if its a little sad :( but i tried to kind of follow what happened in the series on this part. Sorry for any mistakes :))**

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As we made our way down the long drive, I sighed. It felt great to see the ranch again. On the way down here I had been thinking about just going to local rodeos, saving money, and buying a better trailer and thongs. I mean, the only reason I decided to go on the circuit I was, was gone. I would run local for about a year; ten we could hit the circuit again and get to the NFR. Liss agreed with me, so now I just had to ask my dad about staying here, which I doubted he would care.

I put my dodge in park and we climbed put and began to unload everything back into the barn. Our barn was fairly large, and it was log that matched the house perfect. I led Dinero to his stall and slipped him inside, hanging his halter on the notch beside the gate. I looked over the gate to my right and saw just who o was looking for. Jack Daniels. Or ad he was called around here, JD. Dimitri broke him last winter and got to name him. Before we left, he had given him to me to do whatever with. He was three now, and I had decided to make a barrel horse out of him. He had re spunk and confirmation to be as good as Dinero.

I unhitched the trailer and we made our way up to the house. I grabbed my bags and jumped out, only to be enveloped in a hug. After me, Abe smothered Liss in a hug ad my mother watched with a smile from the porch.

"I figured Dimitri would have come with you." he thought of Dimitri as one of his own.

"Have you not herd? He went pro." I said tightly. His eyes lightened in understanding and he dropped it. Lisa and I showered and we all caught up over dinner. Abe said it would be fine for us to stay and I promised to help out. Liss and I went to our rooms, finally not some cheap hotel, and caught up on our lost sleep.

The next morning dawned bright and after a good breakfast I made my way to the barn. I turned Dinero out into the pasture with his friends as well as Champ. When all of the horses were out I began mucking and cleaning out water buckets. JD was upset because I had kept him in instead of turning him out.

When the work was done I led JD to the cross ties and began to brush him. I put my old saddle onto him, just in case he did something.

I took him to the arena and warmed him up. Lisa sat on a panel, working him through the basics, starting things slow, I unsaddled him and turned him out.

It was almost Christmas now and still no word from Dimitri. He was doing well as a rookie, that much I could tell from TV. Two long months and not a word from him. JD had been doing well, working around one barrel. Snow littered the ground and rodeos haven't been much lately. I however made a new friend. Mason Ashford. He was off the circuit for a few weeks and came to help out Abe. He was a good friend but I knew he wanted more. I wanted him to make me forget about Dimitri, though I doubted it would work. We have had a few stolen moments but nothing serious. He knew about Dimitri and understood. He too had just joined the PBR circuit. It hurt to know that they had time off, but Dimitri hadn't even called.

Christmas day rolled around and we all exchanged gifts, nothing to fancy. I decided to try to text Dimitri and see if he answered. He didn't.

Before I knew it, March was ending. JD was almost done training. Dinero and I had made quit a name for ourselves in Texas. Liss and Champ as well. Made had been pushing me to come see him and they would be in Fortworth this weekend. Lisa, Chris, and I were going though we had to bring a few bulls for Abe.

Liss and Chris went to the stands while I talked to the rough stock director. Since I was here for the ranch I could stay in the back and talk to the riders. Mase found me and threw his arm around my shoulders. That's when I saw Mikhail. He looked directly at me and we both froze. I simply wrapped my arms around mase's waist and turned away. I didn't want to see the one person who could make me fall apart.

DPOV:

"Hurry up Belikov." Mikhail said as I slipped my vest on. I needed a good 87 point ride at least tonight, though being this close to MH I doubted I would concentrate enough. I hadn't so much as looked at another girl in the last few months. I couldn't stop thinking about the pain in her eyes. I had herd she dropped the circuit, but the few days I had been in Texas I had herd nothing except the news of Dinero and Hathaway. News of them was everywhere. Some say she was waiting a year or so to join again, wait until she was a little older. Others said she was training a colt and decided to takes break from traveling. I guessed I would only find out for sure by talking to her. And seeing as how she ran away every time I tried, that didn't seem likely. On Christmas she had texted, but I hadn't really known what to say to her.

I walked over to a frozen looking Mikhail to see if he was okay. On my way I saw a dodge 2500 with a stock trailer parked. Someone from MH was here. I remembered the times I had to drive it out to livestock sales for Abe. I didn't guess I'd ever have to again. I reached Mikhail.

"Seen a ghost?" I asked sarcastically, though he only pointed towards the loading ramp.

I looked down and if possible my heart broke. Except this time only one person could heal it. Roza was wrapped around another rookie. Ashford. I couldn't stand to look at them. Come on I thought to myself. Go talk to her. I almost did, but chickened out and sat on the back of the chutes. She looked alone. I could see it in her eyes, she was missing something. I hoped that something was me but I doubted it. I must have made some strangled noise because Mikhail turned to me and gave me a look of pure pity.

I cleared my head and the show began. As my ride drew near I couldn't help but look at her. She was helping Ashford in the chute one away from mine. I let go of the breath I was holding and climbed upon rowdy. He was a hunk of a bull that was for sure.

RPOV:

Rowdy was going to be a tough one, though I had no doubt that Dimitri could make it. Sure enough, he made the buzzer and got out of the arena as fast as possible. As he stood on the panel he threw his hat, knowing he would place this weekend. Almost subconsciously he looked to me, as if asking approval. I nodded; knowing he was safe was a relief. Mase smirked and rolled his eyes. He knew Dimitri would always hold more of me than he and had accepted that. He was like my brother now. I simply blushed and helped him get ready. When his hand was in the rope and he was at the place he wanted, I stepped back anxiously. I saw him nod and the gate flew open. I was surprised that the bull's horns could fit through the gate. Then it was as if everything was suddenly out into slow motion.

DPOV:

Ashford nodded and the gate opened. The bull sprang with hid back legs, but when he came down he hit twice, not once, on his front legs and Ashford lost his seat. It had happened before, but I knew why would happen web I saw his wrist twist upside down. He was caught. The bullfighters rushed to him, doing all they could. I myself kept from the fence and helped along with several others to free Ashford. Someone finally cut the rope and he fell to the ground.

The entire stadium was silent. I backed away when I saw blood covering his shirt. They removed it to find a puncture in the left side of his stomach. The sight was sickening. The paramedics quickly took him and Roza ran over to where he was being loaded. I knew she wanted to go with him.

I walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Go, I'll get Mikhail to drive behind me to the ranch. I'll take care of it Roza." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I did the only thing I could think of. I opened my arms. I wasn't sure if she would accept my offer but she gladly ran into me, wrapping her arms around me and sobbing. My heart broke all over again.

"I can come to the hospital when I get to the ranch." I offered and felt her nod. She slowly unwound her arms and climbed into the ambulance and they sped off towards the nearest hospital. I closed my eyes and prayed Roza would be okay.

Lissa had been drilling me with questions the entire way home. I seriously thought I was about to go insane. Chris must have realized this and he settled her down. Mikhail was driving my Chevy behind us. As I pulled into the drive memories came slamming back into me. Rose and I riding to the lake in the middle of summer, Rose watching as I broke JD, the loving look she gave me when I handed his lead to her. It all hurt to think about.

"I didn't expect to see you Dimitri." His tone was stern but he shook my hand. "Where is Rose?" I sighed.

"Ashford got hung up sir. Hurt pretty bad, she went with him to the hospital." I explained, not really knowing my place here anymore. He nodded.

"You going to go to her or just stand here with your finger up your ass?" He asked looking at me under the brim of his Stetson. I nodded and climbed into my truck.

I walked into the emergency room, and immediately walked to the desk.

"Where is Mason Ashford? Bull rider, red hair." The receptionist pointed down the hall. I took long strides making my trip quick. I could see a figure standing in the hall, looking in to a room. I got closer and realized it was Roza. I came up behind her and was about to ask, but what met my eyes made me stop. There were no machines. Not anymore. His still form was covered with a white sheet. I felt sickness roll in the pit of my stomach. Roza simply stood there, starring, not saying anything. Silent tears made their way down her face.

"He was like my brother." Was all she said, but it held so much emotion. She turned to me in desperation, not wanting to believe what had happened.

"O Roza." I murmured before cupping her face and gently wiping her tears with my thumbs. She whimpered and my heart tightened. She collapsed into me, sobbing violently. I took her to the other side of the hallway and sat her in a chair. I kneeled in front of her. She clung to me, as if I was the only thing that kept her here. I simply held her, whispering in Russian.

She finally quieted down and I pulled back to see her face. Tears still slipped down her face. She looked at me before burying her face in the crook of my neck. She shook her head, as if she was trying to shake the images from her head.

I thought back to when he had fallen onto his back, panting in pain, blood staining his lips. Fear had been clear in his eyes, he knew what was happening. I cradled her head with on hand and stroked her hair with the other. I kissed the side of her face before leaning against it.

She let out one more sob before pulling back and cupping my face.

"That could have been you, can be you. The relief felt when you made it to the panels was overwhelming. And then… God Dimitri I can still see it. It plays over and over in my mind." She couldn't get anything else out before the tears took over once more.

Another hour later, we were leaving. With one last look, Roza walked out to my truck and climbed in, not saying a word. She soon fell asleep, exhausted from crying. When I reached the ranch, I didn't want to wake her so I simply cradled her petite figure to me. Abe gave me a look that asked if he was gone. I nodded and walked up to Roza's room. I slowly lowered her to the bed and took her boots off. I sat there for a while.

The door opening alerted me. I looked up to see Abe.

"I consider you family, you know that. So when I say you'll always be welcome here I mean it. I understand you going to PBR and making a name for yourself, but when you get spare time, don't hesitate to come here." He said giving my shoulder a squeeze. I nodded. "Yes, the offer still stands even if you love my daughter." I looked up, shocked. "I may be old, but I'm not stupid boy." With that he walked out, leaving me with Roza.

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**Leave some reviews :)) i luv um :) again, sorry for the sadness, i thought i could incorporate something from the actual series into here but i tried not to make it to sad, though it turned out that way anyway :/ o well R&R i love to hear what you think :)))**


	3. Chapter 3

**So my chapters still seem a little short, but im trying to work on them :/ sorry for any mistakes, i typed most of this on my itouch at school ;) please review, they really help motivate me to UD. :)) Sorry again to those who read my other story but i am thinking LOL **

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I bolted up right, panting and sweating. The horrifying scene played over in my mind. There had to be some way I could have saved him. But instead I stood frozen while at least 6 people jumped up and tried to help him.

I suddenly realized I wasn't alone. I looked to my left and wanted to cry all over again. Dimitri, in a pair of shorts, lie on his back shirtless. He had bags under his eyes and looked worse for wear. As selfish as it was to think this, I could almost picture him lying still, covered with nothing more than a sheet covering him. I felt tears slid down my face at the thought.

He had helped me so much, I realized. I looked out to see that the moon shown bright. I moved closer to him and pulled his head into my lap, careful not to wake him. I began stroking his hair lightly. I didn't know if he would up and leave in the morning and right now I really didn't want to have to think about it. I soon found myself falling into unconsciousness.

The next time I was brought out of my sleep was a little more pleasant. I felt stubble slid across the smooth skin of my thigh and my eyes popped open. I looked down to see Dimitri shifting slightly. He mumbled something unintelligible and I felt a small smile spread across face. He groaned and moved his arm and grabbed my leg. This time it was his eyes turn to pop open. He made as if to move and I chuckled.

"Roza?" he asked, his mind still groggy with sleep. I nodded, and he relaxed. I knew my voice was probably rough from crying but tried to talk anyway.

"Thank you, for staying." yup, as bad as I thought. I could feel tears coming back and tried to bight them back. Dimitri, seeing this, sat up and pulled me to him. Before I knew it I was sobbing again. It was like I couldn't help it, like there was no stopping it.

"Shhh Roza, it's okay, I've got you." Dimitri continued to whisper nonsense. Soon I quieted down to whimpers while Dimitri sat patiently.

I tried to think of betters things. Last year, before I started dating Adrian, Dimitri, Liss and I came back home. Well, me and Dimitri had stolen kisses but that day there was something else. We had just put JD away and we were laughing about something he had said. Well one thing lead to another and before I knew it Dimitri had seen more of me than anyone else. Some people say that you have to wait for the right person to lose your virginity to. If so, mine was Dimitri. He had been so gentle and so sweet.

I sighed, thinking back I realized just how much of my heart he held in his work calloused hands. He truly had the power to break me if he wanted.

I then realized that he was still shirtless. I had to admit, he was damn sexy. He had a defined six pack with arms like boa constrictors. Noticing that I had quieted, he looked me in the face.

"You okay?" he asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Come on." he said and pulled from the bed. He threw a pair of jeans and a t shirt toward me. I started to peal my clothes off, knowing it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

Dimitri simply stood there, mouth gaping. I rolled my eyes and threw his duffel at him. He snapped his mouth shut and slipped his shorts off. I bit back a laugh at his boxers. They had skittles on them and said "taste the rainbow" before I knew it I was flat out laughing. Dimitri just humphed and slipped on a pair of wranglers and a cut off, before placing his hat on his head and turning to me.

"Do I need to dress you now?" He asked while I quaked with laughter. I finally composed myself enough to slip on my clothes. We made our way downstairs. I saw Abe and Janine sitting at the table, in a deep conversation. I raised an eyebrow, but continued my way outside.

I went to see Dinero, though Dimitri stopped a stall short. JD.

"He looks good. You been workin' him?" I nodded.

"One of the reasons I dropped the circuit. He's of age, so I decided to run barrels on him." He nodded, obviously in deep thought. It was several minutes before he spoke again.

"When are you going back?" I knew he would ask.

"Probably around October." I knew it was soon but Liss and I were both restless. He turned to me, shocked.

"So soon?" I nodded. "I need something to do to keep things off of my mind. And I made this decision before recent events." I said while flinching.

He studied my face before turning away. "Dimitri-" was all I could say before he cut me off.

"No, I get it. Besides I don't have a chance, not anymore. I'll be back to PBR in a week anyway." He turned on his heel and left, but not before I saw the hurt that had taken residence in his eyes. Why couldn't he understand? Kinda like I understood him wanting to go pro. I would keep in touch, unlike some. Rage and hurt boiled within me. Was he just going to leave without a good bye? My answer was confirmed when his Chevy tore up the drive way. I lent against the door way of the barn and sank to the ground, cradling my head in my hands, sobbing.

DPOV: Her words had stung. I wanted her to go with me, even for just a little while. But no, she was heading back in 7 short months. It may seem like a long time but she needed to work her horses for 2 good months, it would take a month for her and Lissa to get reregistered, then packing and buying the essentials, plus her being Rose, she would probably get there early, and travel with them a month or two and let JD get accustomed to the sights and sounds before throwing him to the dogs. I glanced in my rearview and saw her sink to the ground and my heart broke for the hundredth time. I saw her shoulders racking with sobs.

"So, why again are we leaving so abruptly?" Mikhail asked. I sighed.

"I can't stay here if she doesn't want me Mikhail. It hurts too much."

"Well, I haven't figured out the mystery that is a women, but from the looks of it she wanted you purdy bad." my grip on the wheel tightened and I didn't give him an answer.

It had been two days since Mikhail and I had been staying in some cheap ass hotel close to the MH. Being honest, I was waiting to see if Rose would come, though I doubted it. It was then that I herd a knock in the door. I opened it to find someone unexpected. A upset looking Lissa. I invited her in, hoping she could bring news of Rose.

"sorry to bother you buy I had to leave. Masons funeral was today and Chris came. Afterword I saw him hugging Rose and comforting her. I don't know why but it made me jealous. So I left and had no where else to go." he said all that in one breath. So the funeral had been today. o hated that I wasn't there for Rose.

I turned my head and made the biggest mistake in my life.

RPOV: I followed Liss to a hotel just in town. I needed to explain. I felt bad about using Chris as my shoulder to cry on but I really had no one else. I knocked on the door, but I didn't get an answer. Fearing Liss was in trouble; I slowly opened the unlocked door and froze.

What I saw broke my already shattered heart beyond repair. Dimitri and Lissa lay amongst each other on the bed. To make it worse, they were completely naked. So this was why he didn't understand. I slowly backed out of the room, shaking my head, while they scrambled around, finding their clothes. Tears pooled in my eyes and spilt over, running downy cheeks. Was this my punishment for wanting to rejoin the circuit?

"Roza, I can explain..." he trailed off. I simply shook my head, trying, though not succeeding in hiding the pain in my eyes.

"You have nothing to explain to me Belikov." my voice was cold and distant. I knew it hurt him for me to call him that but I couldn't do this, not anymore. I turned to Liss then, who had guilt written on her face as well.

"I hope you understand when I say I need to go on the circuit alone for a while. Also, I'm sorry I cried to Christian about my best friend dying. I'll learn to control myself next time. I think we need to learn a little control. You can choose to tell Chris or not. As for me, I'm gone." and with that I left a sister and a lover behind. I climbed in my dodge and drove home.

When I arrived I went straight to the barn and packed my things in my new trailer. Once done, I saddle one of our ranch horses. Rocky was a 12 year old chestnut quarter horse and one of the best cow horses we have. I rode out through one of our pastures. We ran and ran until we reached one of our many herds. I looked on from a distance. Deja blu looked up from his place among the rest, as if knowing I was looking at him as well. He let out a loud call and Rocky and I turned back.

I drove away from what used to be my haven, though now it only served as my personal hell.

DPOV:

I looked to Lissa who had tears in her eyes.

"I think you should leave." she nodded and opened the door. She turned back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen like that. I just wanted someone to talk to. I love chris, more than I can explain. I don't know why I acted like that. But I'm truly sorry, I can see you love Rose. I don't know if she will ever come back to us. If it means anything, I know she loves you, so so much." with that she turned and left. I sank to the bed before jumping up and looking at it in disgust. I lent against the wall and slid to the ground. I don't know why I did it, I just wasn't thinking. Actually I was thinking, that Rose wouldn't give a damn, that she didn't care about me anyway if she was just up and leaving. It was wrong and stupid, but for a moment I wanted to hurt her like she had me. I had succeed that was for damn sure. The look on her face would haunt me forever.

I didn't say anything the whole way to Cheyenne, Wyoming. Mikhail knew, and kept quit, letting me think. News of Hathaway's return had poured over me this morning as I sat eating breakfast. She had left home the day she saw us. Just like that. Lissa had left with Mia.

Naturally, Rose would be here, I thought to myself as pulled into the back. I saw her red dodge and almost lost it. The only person who cared anything about me and i had lost her.

I saw reporters fussing over something near the barn. As I unloaded my bag, I tried to get a better look.

Roza stood in the middle of the crowd, to her left stood Dinero, with expensive looking tack. To her right stood JD. He to, had expensive tack. He looked so good. His coat shinned and he looked like he loved all of the attention he was receiving. Roza and a girl I didn't recognize laughed, throwing their heads back. It was good to see her like this, carefree.

Just then, someone asked about Mason and I saw her stiffen while the other girl let a few tears leak out of her eyes. I was curious as to who she was.

The reporters left and the two walked back into the barn. I thought about her being here while I mad my way to the chutes. I came to a stop beside Mikhail.

"Did you see the girl with Rose?" he only nodded in response. "Who is she?"

"Avery Ashford." it took me a minute to realize why the name was familiar. Ashford. Mason Ashford. Damn. He spoke, breaking my thought.

"Rumor has it Rose has been hanging with a rough bunch." I gave him a questioning look. "Avery, Adrian, Jake, and Jason. Good ropers, hell raisers though. Constantly gettin' in to somethin'" Roza? That didn't seem like her. I looked over and saw Mia, Liss, and Sydney looking towards where Rose sat astride JD. Now I understood. She didn't want to stay with the others. Chris threw a glare in my direction from his spot against the rail. Well I don't guess things go over smooth with him either. I sighed; I hoped things would be back to normal one day. I looked to Lissa and saw her sorrow filled gaze, set on Chris. She noticed my staring and looked at me. She mouthed a sorry and turned back.

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**R&R i need the inspiration :)) i dont know how well im doing on this story. i feel like its not intresting enough... let me know :))**


	4. Chapter 4

**O my gawsh! i'm soo sorry for my abscence, i feel bad about taking forever. School and life in general has me all tied up at the moment. :/ i will try to make up for it, seeing as i have this week off. Thank you everyone who reviewed, favorited, alerted this story. It means alot!:)) this one is short as well, but i thought i should atleast try to UD:/**

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I took one last look at Dimitri and drank him in. My personal Russian god. The one person who used to be my everything. It was all gone now. Avery, Adrian, Jake, and Jason were my new friends. Avery and Adrian were roping partners. They were a thing now, but I didn't mind. Jason and I kinda hit it off, but I just met them. He and his brother Jake roped together. We were leaving for the Canadian circuit tomorrow. Adrian knew I needed to get away from everything. I think we were better this way, as friends.

I was broke out of my thoughts when Ave tapped my shoulder. "You need to go walk Dinero around a little. Saddle broncs just finished." I nodded and rode JD back to the barn. He had taken a liking to the attention so I figured when we made it to Canada I would start him. I saddled Dinero and rode around a little. He was antsy, ready to prove himself. I simply snorted.

We would start in Ontario next week. I don't think anyone knew, though Adrian would probably spill sometime tonight. I knew Chris was hurting. I offered him a spot on our trip, knowing the crew wouldn't mind, but he said he needed to face this. I knew he was right, but I couldn't do it. The memory gnawed at me every waking moment. But, in all honesty, I didn't know why. He had left me standing alone in the barn aisle had he not? So how was it my place to judge? It wasn't. I would talk to Lissa sometime tonight, telling her I was leaving and that I don't care anymore.

My name was called and I herd more than a few members in the audience yell. I can't describe the feel of running barrels really. Before you go, the butterflies are more like eagles flapping their wings, but as soon as I give Dinero the go ahead, everything finally falls into place. There is no drama, no Dimitri, no Lissa, no Adrian, no one, just us, Dinero and I. Together we kick dust and make a clear run. And even if the run isn't clean, I know we tried our hardest. In every sport, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or barrel racing, some one wins and another loses. We all have our nights to shine. And tonight was ours. I could feel it.

We finished with a time of 14.887, easily sliding us into first. I walked Dinero down and we made our way over to my former companions. Dinero let out a low call for Champ and I felt guilt well inside of me. I knew he missed his former companion but it was for the best. Lissa turned and her jaw dropped when she saw who it was. She opened her mouth to talk but I held a hand up, interrupting her.

"I'm sorry for my fit I threw. It's really none of my business what my best friend and ex boyfriend do. He made his decisions and you made yours. However, there is no one to blame. Well maybe me, I was the one barging in after all. So don't apologize. I will do my best to work the kinks out of Chris before I leave, though I doubt you'll get him back. And yes I said before I leave. Adrian, Avery, Jake, and Jason asked me to go with them to Canada to join that circuit for a while. I need to clear my head and get things straight, so I accepted. You shouldn't feel bad for me, save that for Chris. I wasn't really with Dimitri, but Chris, he loved you with everything he had, and you basically told him to piss off. But hey, that's not my business." I turned Dinero to walk away before stopping and looking over my shoulder to Lissa. "Call me a bitch, think I'm an asshole I don't give a rip shit, I'm just telling you what it is."

With that I left. I went to the barn and packed my things into the trailer. Jason would be riding with me since Adrian only had a three horse trailer. I didn't really care to be honest. At this point in my life, nothing could make me. I walked out just in time to see Ri and Ave take first and Jase and Jake take third. We all returned to the barn. After getting everything in our part of the barn packed. We loaded the horses. There was a crowd leaving, seeing as how everything was winding down. I saw Dimitri and Mikhail sitting on the tail gate of the Chevy. I pushed away the memories I had in that old piece of shit and followed Ri's dodge. I made the mistake of looking back one last time to see Lissa running towards him, tears in her eyes. She told him something and he looked around, spotting my truck immediately. I flicked my eyes away from the side mirror and changed gears, the traffic finally clearing.

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I had to admit, Canada had a wonderful view. I got to see Niagra Falls. I had called home to tell them my decision. They were confused as to why I wanted to go so far off, but accepted it. I promised to come see them again soon.

I looked out the window as I followed Ri into yet another cheap hotel. Luckily they had a stable. Ri checked in and we pulled around to unload our horses. After they were settled and we made sure our trailers were locked, we made our way to our rooms. I was going to sleep alone in a room and let Jase and Jake share and Ave and Ri share, but of course that wasn't going to happen.

Over the past month of us being in Canada, Jason and I had gotten closer. He was just a friend, though I wanted him to be more, I needed him to be more. He knew the whole story and said he couldn't believe Dimitri was that dumb. We had potential, but I didn't want to hurt him. He said he would be fine, but I still wasn't sure.

So Jake slept alone, while Jase and I, and Ave and Ri, shared rooms. I felt bad leaving him alone, but he said he was sure he could find someone to keep him company. I had no doubts. We had turned into quit the hell raisers, it was fun.

Jase and I walked into our room and I looked at the single king sized bed before turning to look at Jason. He raised his eyebrows and threw his bag down in a chair before sitting on the bed and beginning the process of taking his clothes off. I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom.

I no longer saw the young naïve Rose in the mirror anymore. Her face always held an etch of sadness with under lying pain. Maybe I should try being with Jason. Maybe he could help ease the pain and grief. I quickly peeled off my t and jeans before stepping into the spray of the shower. The hot water felt great on my stress knotted muscles. I sighed.

When I walked back into the bedroom, I stifled a laugh. Jase was lying on his stomach, sprawled out, taking up the entire bed. I sat on the edge and pushed him over. He grumbled something unintelligible but complied. I curled up and soon found my self drifting into unconsciousness.

I awoke in a very different position. I tried to stretch but an iron grip kept them from moving. I looked down to see two muscled arms around me. I sighed and moved to where I was facing his sleeping form. I poked the side of his face, though it didn't work. I sighed and did the only thing I knew to do. I encircled his waist with my arms and rested my head on his bare chest. I recalled my last conversation with Dimitri before I had left that night that seemed so long ago.

"_Rose, please wait…. Don't go…" I snorted. The pain in his eyes made my gut twist with longing, longing to stay, to work things out. But I knew that probably would never happen now. _

"_Don't Dimitri, we all made decisions, whether they be bad or good, they were made. We may regret them but it's too late. You can't live in the past, only move on. Sometime I will move on, the love will fade. For now I'll suffer through the path I chose." I hated saying these words, the words that meant goodbye._

"_We can work things out Rose, we both made mistakes. Come on this isn't fair!" His patience was wearing thin and I could see it. _

"_I'm done Dimitri. Done waiting, done hoping. Done. I waited after I graduated, for you. I waited, only keeping Adrian beside me because I doubted you really wanted to be with me. You screwed me and got all you wanted from me, so I didn't figure you wanted me back. But yet, I waited. I waited for you to make some move towards me that told me you still cared. Back, freshman year, you said your love had faded. That winter, I knew you probably regretted our decisions, but listen to me. I didn't, don't. I'm glad that for once in my lonely existence, you seemed to care. So when you tell me we both made mistakes I realize that, but that night wasn't one. I hope you live a long happy life Belikov, because I probably won't." _

And with that I had turned and saddled JD, riding him around before running. Cheyenne, Wyoming would forever haunt me. It was as if I had left the part of my heart that held emotions with him. I mean, Jason was hot, believe me, but it wasn't the same.

Just as I thought that I looked up to see him starring back. Before I knew what was happening, our foreheads were touching. He lent down and brushed his lips cautiously across mine. There were no sparks, no electricity. Nothing that I wanted there to be. It was just a kiss. Jason looked away, as if seeing this to.

"I'm sorry…" He cut me off.

"Don't be, Belikov has your heart, I knew that. To be honest I don't think I'm in love by any means, but I'm tired of bein' lonely Rose." I nodded and gave him a small peck, before throwing on some clothes and taking my duffel back to the truck.

Before long we pulled into Armstrong and got our stable number. We pulled around and unloaded everybody before finding a hotel nearby. This time we each got our own rooms and settled down to sleep before waking and heading to the barn early in the morning.

DPOV:

Mikhail and I sat on the tail gate and waited for the traffic to die down before moving on to Salt Lake City. I thought back to Rose and I's conversation, if you could call it that. Her words had hurt, making my heart twist and shatter with every word she spoke. She was good at hiding her feelings, but I could still read her like an open book, even with her walls up.

She was a smart girl, so where in the world did she assume that I just wanted to "Screw" her was beyond me. It made me began to look back on my actions and realize she had every right to think the things she did. I had no idea I had been hurting her, or that she just kept Adrian so she wouldn't be alone. I should have seen it, but I hadn't and know she was gone, where? I had no idea, probably following the small circuit for a little while. I doubted I would see her for a while unless I dropped in on a rodeo now and then.

Just then Lissa came running at me with tears in her eyes. I was about to speak before she cut me off.

"She gone Dimitri, as in forever, never coming back, gone." I looked at her, waiting for her to calm down and explain. Just like I thought she continued. "She's leaving with that other group of ropers. Heading out to Canada, entering the circuit there. She said she was wrong for pitching such a fit about us, that it wasn't her place. She said it wasn't her business anymore. But she needed space to move on, since she was obviously the only one who hadn't." And just like that she broke down in sobs. Mikhail threw his arms around her, offering some comfort.

My heart broke even more than I thought possible. Gone? To Canada? It hurt to know that I was the force behind her absence. I looked up and my eyes rested on a red dodge following a black dodge rig. I caught Rose's gaze in the side mirror. I starred for what seemed like an eternity, but was only really a few seconds. Before the traffic lightened up and she shifted into second, following Adrian. JD and Dinero, along with a horse I guessed to Be Master, Jason's roping horse, was loaded on the trailer, their noses poking out slightly on occasions.

I starred until I could no longer see her tail lights, knowing she wasn't going to turn around, but hoping to catch a glimpse of her brake lights. Even just a flash. Hoping that she might miss what she was leaving behind. But I never did. There was no stopping her now.

I hadn't said so much as a word the entire time we sat. Lissa had left and went back to her group and we were left to sit until traffic dissipated. My mind was reeling with the knowledge of her leaving.

Finally I spoke with a rough voice. "Do you want to come with me?" I asked Mikhail. He gave me a questioning look. "I'm going home, do you want to come?" He put a hand on my shoulder before answering.

"Go home, rest up, regain yourself. Come back when you feel up to it boy, don't push yourself." He stood up and grabbed his bag before going off to find someone to ride with. I let out a breath that wanted to become a sigh, before climbing into my old Chevy and making my way to Texas, to the place that had truly become my home.

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**R&R please, i luv um :)) agian i will try to UD this and my other story as well again over the next week, no promises though :/**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay. Life has been pretty busy lately. Im still drawing blanks for my other story, but hope to UD soon. On a better note, i hope to get my new horse sometime this weekend :))) anywho onto the story...**

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It was almost January and I was restless and eager to be back in the states. I sighed and shifted smoothly from 3rd to 4th. Jason covered my hand that rested on the gear stick with his. "In two short hours we will arrive in Michigan. Can you handle it?" he asked sarcastically. I stuck my tongue out at him.

We dropped Avery off at her ranch in Wyoming. There, Jason moved to Adrian's truck and I headed for Texas. I made it to upstate Oklahoma before stopping at a hotel to rest.

The next day I decided to pull into Eddie's ranch, seeing as how I hadn't talked to him in forever.

"Well, if it isn't Rose Hathaway." I was immediately enveloped in a hug. Eddie was like the brother I never had growing up. Though I didn't see him a lot, only when his folks would visit in the summers.

I stayed there and caught up for a good two hours. It seemed that he bred quarter horses for a living. I went with him to check a colt and was pleased at what I saw. He had quite an impressive barn. The colt was a two year old with Peppy blood lines. He was a stunning gray. I was immediately attached to him. Eddie chuckled as he saw the look on my face.

"I just came from the Canadian circuit, how much do you want for him?" I asked, awaiting a high price. He looked at him for a moment score replying.

"1,000." my jaw dropped.

"Get real. Only 1,000?" I squealed when he nodded his head. I gave him a huge hug and walked into the stall. I slipped his halter on and walked him to the trailer, loading him in behind JD. JD turned slightly then snorted as if to say "another one? Are you crazy?" I chuckled and closed the door.

I gave Eddie another hug, promising to visit more and headed towards the MH.

I finally pulled down our long drive, though it was pitch dark. I sighed. I shut the truck off and pulled my exhausted body out. When Dinero and JD were in their stalls I got a stall ready for the newest edition. I had decided to call him Flying Dodger since he had Ima Peppy Dodger in his blood lines. Fly for short. Weird I know but I couldn't decide anything better. After everyone was settled I walked to the house with my bag.

I unlocked the door and stepped in, turning to relock it. I figured everyone else was in bed by now. I threw my bag in the laundry room and walked to the kitchen.

I had forgiven Dimitri and Lissa. That doesn't mean that it didn't hurt but I had come to terms with it. Jase and I had been together for a little while but it hadn't worked out.

I was searching through the refrigerator when I turned around and hit a wall of shirtless muscle. To say it brought me out of my thoughts said the least. I stumbled back a step, stunned. I looked up to see two pain-filled pools of chocolate brown. His scent wrapped around my senses, smothering me. I felt tears pool in my eyes and a lump form in my throat. I choked both back before mumbling something I couldn't even understand.

I had almost made it passed him before he reached and grabbed my upper arm, holding me in place. I turned my head, willing myself not to look into his eyes.

"Look at me Roza." Damn it! Why did he have to use my Russian nickname?

I sniffed and turned my head. He let out an audible whimper and pulled me to him. I wanted to push away, to tell him off, but I didn't have the will power.

I encircled his waist with my arms and burrowed my head against his chest as he nuzzled his face in my neck and for the first time in almost a year I felt at home.

Finally I came to my senses and, after trying to burrow my head further into his chest, I let out a sigh and pushed back. He shook his head.

"Roza-" Was all he could say before I cut him off.

"You're forgiven Dimka. I don't blame you for wanting that." I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe that shook, willing my tears to stay away before continuing. "I over reacted. It was stupid and pitiful. I'm sorry for how I acted. I was hoping you would forgive me." I looked up as my voice cracked. I knew he secretly like being called Dimka, even though he wouldn't admit it.

"O Roza..." he trailed off. "There was nothing to forgive. You reacted the some way I would, hell like anyone would. And you had the right." His eyes studied my face and I felt hot tears spill over my eyes.

"What are we?" He asked slowly, afraid of the answer. I had dreaded this question.

"I don't know Dimka. I won't lie and say I'm over it. To be honest it still hurts like hell to think about it. I think if we ever want to go somewhere we just need to take things slow and work everything out. I don't think I could handle being with you right now."

He nodded slowly. I felt horrible but the permanent ache burned daily still like wildfire in my chest. I moved to wipe the tears from my face but wasn't quick enough. Dimitri's calloused hands gently swiped the tears away. I sniffed leaning into his touch.

I covered the hand that rested on my cheek before moving back and climbing the stairs. I threw my door open and walked to my bed and collapsed.

I woke with rays of sun blinding me. I crawled out of bed slowly, and made my way from my bedroom down the hall and slipped into the bathroom. However, not before I looked through a cracked door and saw what I had come to think of as an angel sprawled across a bed. I paused slightly, my breathe catching and my step faltering before continuing on my way.

I stepped out of the shower though my mind still replayed the encounter from last night. I honestly didn't know where we stood. I know that I love that ass of a man with all of my heart; I just didn't know whether it was returned. I sighed and threw on a pair of hip hugging jeans and a thermal shirt before slipping on my orange ariat boots and my tan carhart.

I stood in front of Fly's stall and watched him breathe in evenly as he snoozed his way through the cold morning. I let out a frustrated sigh and watched as my breath carried on the breeze.

I walked down the aisle to visit Dinero and JD. I peered over the gate and froze, my face paling instantly. I ran to the house to get the only person here, seeing as my parents were away at a livestock auction.

DPOV:

I had been staying at MH for almost a half a year now. It was peaceful. When I arrived I had expected them to be mad at what I had done though they accepted that everyone made their fair share of mistakes. I helped Abe around the ranch doing the work that was less pleasant, such as branding and vaccinating.

I groaned as I made my way down the dark staircase, on my way to get a glass of water. I was breaking another colt for Abe and let's just say today was a little rough, though not anything I hadn't experienced before. I was standing in front of the sink when I herd the door lock click. I didn't think Abe and Janine would be back until Monday, which was two days from now. I silently made my way down the dark hallway but saw nothing.

I cocked my head to the side but went back to my place at the sink. That was when I saw a figure walk into the other side of the kitchen and open up the refrigerator, rummaging for something. I felt my heart constrict in my chest and went to see for sure if it was who I thought. Just as I reached her, Rose turned and slammed into me. She stumbled back a step but quickly regained balance.

We starred at one another before she mumbled something I doubted she even understood and moved to walk up stairs. I grabbed her arm though she wouldn't look at me. That fact alone killed me.

"Look at me Roza." I knew full and well what her Russian name did to her. She complied and turned her head, allowing me to see the pain that took residence in her eyes.

At that moment I'll even admit, I let out a whimper I knew she herd and pulled her to me. I waited for her to push me away or smack me, but instead she encircled my waist with her small arms. I thought I could cry in that moment. I felt at home.

I felt her sigh and she pulled back. I began to shake my head and began to apologize.

"Roza-" Was all I managed before she cut me off.

"You're forgiven Dimka. I don't blame you for wanting that" She closed her eyes, giving away the fact that it hurt her to say this. I knew that she knew that her using my Russian nickname was a weakness."I over reacted. It was stupid and pitiful. I'm sorry for how I acted. I was hoping you would forgive me." I almost choked. She was apologizing? I didn't understand how she could think that this was her fault. All I wanted in that moment was to hold her and tell her how sorry I was.

"O Roza..." I trailed off. "There was nothing to forgive. You reacted the some way I would, hell like anyone would. And you had the right." Tears made their slowly down her face. I finally asked the question I knew we both dreaded.

"What are we?"

"I don't know Dimka. I won't lie and say I'm over it. To be honest it still hurts like hell to think about it. I think if we ever want to go somewhere we just need to take things slow and work everything out. I don't think I could handle being with you right now."

At this I only nodded. I knew I deserved it but the pain of rejection still stung. She moved to wipe the tears from her face but I beat her to it. I gently rubbed them from her face and rested my hand there. She covered it with her own, leaning into my touch, before she walked up the stairs, leaving me starring after her, wishing I could take everything back.

It took a while for me to find the peacefulness of sleep. I rolled onto my back and starred at the ceiling. Would I ever win her back? That was a question only time could answer. Soon I found myself in a dream.

I knew because Roza was cradling my head in her small hands, running her fingers through my dark curls that lay loosely on her lap. Suddenly she stiffened and pushed me away. I felt hurt leak onto my face as I tried to reach out for her. She shook her head and murmured so quietly I thought I wasn't sure if I had herd right. "No, Dimka, you've done enough." And with that she turned and walked away. I whimpered and called after her but nothing was going to change her mind.

I bolted up right, panting heavily. I dropped my head in my hands as I regained my breathe. I walked to the bathroom, recalling last nights encounter. I stayed in the shower until the water turned cold, before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my waist.

I was making my way back to my room when I herd boots running quickly up the stairs. I turned to see a very pale and shook up looking Rose. I stopped, worried. She ran at me and grabbed my hand, dragging me towards my room. I ignored the shock I got from her touch and allowed her to drag me. She flung the door open and pushed me to my dresser. I gave a questioning look.

"Hurry up, put some damn clothes on!"She yelled at me desperately. I pulled out a pair of wranglers and a thermal shirt before hesitating.

"O for shits sake! It's not like I haven't seen it before!" She yelled.

I sighed before unwrapping the towel and letting it drop to the floor. I pulled on my jeans, not worrying about boxers in my rush, and barely slipped my shirt and boots on before Rose was dragging me somewhere else.

I soon realized we were headed to the barn.

"Roza..." I tried gaining her attention, though she only continued to drag me behind her. We made it to a stall I realized as Dinero's. I still didn't understand what she wanted of me until she opened the door and I found him laying on his side. I could see tears forming in her eyes. I saw his right foreleg was swollen. I figured that was why he was down, but I knew if he stayed like this for much longer his weight alone would crush his organs.

I quickly told Rose to call the vet and grabbed his halter from its hook outside of his stall. I slipped it on and began to help him to his feet. Rose joined us and working together we managed to get him up. My guess was that after a while of not putting any weight on that leg and putting more on his other three he simply got tired and didn't want to get up.

The vet arrived and said that there was a splinter that was probably treated caught in his leg and had become infected. It should clear up in a few days, just to keep an eye on him. He left not long after removing the infected piece of wood.

Rose had stayed silent the entire time and it was beginning to worry me. She just held the lead to Dinero and starred. After I bid the doc good bye, I walked into the stall and sat beside her. She sniffed and finally spoke.

"I wish I knew where it came from." I put a comforting arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on my chest. For just a second I could pretend like the last year and a half hadn't happened and we were still walking rodeo grounds together. Then reality slapped me in the face like the bitch it was.

With my free hand I combed my hair back, just noticing that I hadn't put a hat on or tied it back. There was one piece that wasn't cooperating and I sighed. Rose looked up and smiled slightly before reaching up and lightly tucking it behind my ear. My breath caught and I knew she noticed from the smirk that was playing on her lips.

"Thank you." I gave her a questioning look. "For helping him." O Dinero.

"Well, I really didn't have much choice did I now?" I raised an eyebrow and chuckled when she blushed slightly. "You're welcome Roza." She nuzzled into my chest and her breathing evened out. I rested my head atop hers and took Dinero's lead from her slacked grip.

Within thirty minutes Rose stirred and blinked her eyes.

"Sorry, could you watch him? I'll go and fix us a sandwich." I nodded. She left and I realized everyone needed feeding and turned out. I sighed and tucked Dinero's lead into my back pocket and got to work. It took a little longer to finish everything with Dinero's curious nose poking in everything. The doc said movement would help stretch the soreness out, so I figured it would be good for him to.

RPOV:

I made my way back to the barn quickly with our sandwiches. Now, in the winter we usually keep the main barn doors closed to keep out the cold. As I stepped through the side door I was glad of that fact. Dinero, whose leg seemed a little better as he played, was slightly trotting down the main aisle with his lead rope in his mouth. A flustered looking Dimitri followed suite. I simply watched.

Dimtiri finally had Dinero cornered. Dinero seemed to see this as well because he simply stood there with his head bobbing while Dimitri walked up to him and yanked the lead from his teeth. Dinero squealed, shook his mane, and looked to me as if to say "Did you see that?". I chuckled and handed Dimitri his food before patting Dinero on the nose.

I turned to Dimitri. "I always knew he was too much for you to handle Belikov." I winked and led Dinero back to his stall. I felt his presence as I locked the stall door. He bent down and whispered in my ear. "I believe it's his owner who proves to be to much to handle." I turned to see him wink and walk into the tack room, leaving me standing there with a slack jaw.

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**A big thanks to everyone who reviewed, etc. R&R please, love to here from you. sorry for any mistakes :/ new pic of fly on my prof take a look :) A good song for Dimitri in this story is 100% Cowboy by Jason Meadows, absolutely love that song. Check it out :)))**


	6. Chapter 6

**Heres a chapter told from my favorite russians point of view ;) sorry for the delay and the shortness of these chapters :(. i have also got an inspiration for yet another story also having to do with horses:). Tell me if i should give it ago as well or no. I have been working on a chapter for Rose Petals and White Horses as well. it just seems as if there isnt enough time in the day. Anywho on with the show...**

**DISCLAIMER: DONT OWN ANYTHING BUT THE PLOT **

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DPOV:

I chuckled as I walked to put a few feed buckets back. I walked out to see Roza standing in the aisle, jaw still slack.

Suddenly a light flicked in her eyes and she grabbed my hand. I soon came to realize, that for the second time today, Roza was dragging me off. I didn't mind though. I knew somewhere she could drag me... Damn I really need to stop thinking like that.

This morning, had it not been an emergency, I don't think I would have been able to fight the animalistic urge to take her then and there. Just thinking about it made my certain member excited.

She let go of my hand, reluctantly on my part. When she moved her hand to her side, her hand lightly brushed the crotch of my jeans on an accident. I let out a moan and dropped my head back. I was hyper aware that she was not but two foot away and I still didn't have on boxers. Not that boxers would help anyway. Not unless they were steal.

She mumbled an apology, blushing a deep red. I grabbed her hand and pulled it to my lips, kissing it softly before laying it on my cheek. She rubbed her thumb over my cheek bone.

She pulled away and looked over the stall door we had come to a stop in front of. I peered over to find a gray colt standing near the back. I turned to Roza and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged.

"Eddie sold him for 1,000. Good deal." I snorted and shook my head.

"Dimka..."She trailed off. I turned, giving her my attention. She simply looked at me, starring straight to my soul. She moved closer, running her hand up my chest. A growl erupted from my chest. I grabbed her hand, stopping its movement, before leaning my forehead against hers, willing myself to not let things get out of hand.

I could feel her breathe on my face and almost lost it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew if we went further, it could ruin every thing. I swallowed, seeking the control I had worked so long on. I could feel her gaze on my face. Thoughts of the night she had given herself to me popped up in my mind. I clenched my eyes and jaw in desperation, trying to hold onto the last shred of will power. I felt her small hands on my jaw, rubbing soothingly. My chest rumbled with a growl as she gripped my locks in her fingers, pulling slightly.

I began kissing her neck and collar bone, pushing her against a stall. I nipped and sucked, hoping I would leave a mark, claiming her as mine. It was her turn to moan and I felt it go straight to my dick. Sh-it. I had yet to kiss her lips, knowing that was the place of no return. I could feel her getting impatient and she arced up, grinding our crotches together. My eyes rolled to the back of my head.

"Ro-za, you really want this?" I asked, my tone making my desperation obvious. She smirked and nodded before leaning up and nipping my ear.

"Never been more positive Dimka." my knees felt like they would give out. Knowing we had the house to ourselves for a few more days, I picked her up; her legs wrapped around my waist, and carried her back to the house. I made it up the stairs as she licked and nibbled on my shoulder, neck, and anything else she could latch her mouth to.

I opened the door to my room and shut it, locking it behind us, with only one hand. I looked for any sign of resistance in her eyes before peeling her clothes off. Showing her true beauty, making me more than a little stiff. Before long I finally found the home I had been searching so long for.

Roza was curled against my chest, her breathing evened, her face relaxed. I thought back to what had happened and sighed. I looked at the clock and saw it was time to let everyone back in.

I sighed and shifted Roza from my chest gently so I didn't wake her. As I move from the bed the sheet shifted and I groaned. She was so beautiful and didn't even know it. I covered her back up, pulling her to me briefly, before kissing her softly.

I turned and slipped my jeans and boots on, grabbing a shirt and the dodge cap Roza had given me a few years back.

As I fed, I thought back. What would she say when she woke? I had tried to show her how much I loved her, but I knew I had screwed up. Bad. I also figured out that I may have been her first but certainly wasn't her last. I felt jealousy well inside me. I knew I had no right but I couldn't control myself when it came to her.

A squeal came from a stall down the aisle and I figured I should take a look. Just as I reached the door, Fly's head popped over the door. I rolled my eyes rather already spoiled colt. I peered in but nothing seemed wrong. As I went back to the house, I caught sight of JD's head propped up on the sporting his stall. I chuckled and continued on my way. Roza was still asleep when I came back. A small smile formed on my face. I slipped my boots from my feet and took my cap off. I walked to the bed and sat down. I leaned over her and nudged her softly. She rolled back towards me and nuzzled her face into my thigh. She sighed and without opening her eyes, spoke.

"There better be a good reason for waking me up." I stroked her cheek before answering.

"I figure you'd want a shower before eatin'" She humphed and rolled closer, laying her head in my lap, drawing circles on my thigh. I rubbed her still bare back, the question of our status burning on my tongue. Like always she could read me like an open book.

"I don't know comrade. I don't want to get hurt but it hurts to stay away." she turned her head but not before I saw the tears that had begun to fill her eyes. I pulled her to me, stroking her back comfortingly.

"I will do anything for you Roza, I can love you if you want or stay by your side as a friend if that's all you want from me." And I meant it. Being a friend was better than being without her. She sniffed and looked into my eyes. I felt so exposed under her gaze but it comforted me at the same time. She let out a sob that broke my heart.

"I don't know what I want Dimitri." she barely spoke above a whisper. "But I do know I need you. Even if for now it just be as a friend I need you with me comrade. And that scares the shit out of me." I lent down and kissed her neck before standing and pulling her with me. I tried to ignore her current lack of clothing and started the water for her. When I was done she gave me a hug before climbing in the tub.

I walked down stairs and ordered some pizza for us. I got Roza a pepperoni pizza, knowing it was her favorite. I myself got a supreme. I plopped down on the couch and flipped through a bull riding magazine. I sighed when it showed a picture of Mikhail on a big brangus bull. There was a part of me that wanted to be there. I missed the life on the circuit but things had just begun to settle.

That night I had just fell into a light sleep when I herd the door creek open. I looked over my shoulder to see the door close and a beautiful figure walk towards me. I was confused at the least. The bed sunk with added weight. I felt her small hands rubbing circles into my shoulder blades.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep comrade." I relaxed as Roza's familiar voice rang in my head. I turned over and wrapped her in my arms. Soon I felt her body relax and breathing even out. I smiled to myself and nuzzled my face in her hair.

Rose had been home for almost a month now. We weren't together but we were getting there. I could tell she had been up to something as of late. As soon as I thought that she came bounding down the stairs with an envelope in her hand, her eyes glowing with mischief. She waved it at me before throwing it onto my lap. I looked at her questioningly before opening it with caution. She finally got impatient and ripped it from my hands. She tore it open and handed me the letter. I skimmed through it and my eyes widened.

I looked up at Roza in shock while she simply smirked.

"Puh-lease, I know you want to get back out there and I figured I could get you sponsored by Justin boots." I simply starred in shock. She rolled her eyes and walked towards the indoor pool. On her way she stripped her shirt and shorts, revealing a black piece of string some would call a bikini. It was February, though I had a feeling she was going to the hot tub. She glanced over her shoulder and winked before disappearing into a different room.

I looked at the letter once more before placing it on the coffee table and following Roza. She sat in the hot tub looking completely relaxed. I walked behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

I kissed her temple. "Thank you" she simply leaned her head against my lips. I left to help Abe bring in a few bulls, leaving Roza to her relaxation time. I walked onto the porch and saw Abe sitting on his mare Minx. She was a ten year old, buckskin quarter horse. He held the reins of a quarter horse gelding that I ride regularly. Danser was a tiger stripe dun.

I swung on him and looked to Abe. He simply starred before turning his own mount and kicked her into a slow lope. I followed his lead and we rode to one of the many large pastures he kept his stock in. It didn't take long before we found the first herd that Buzz took residence in. He was a big black bull. Next we went in search of Deja Blu. I couldn't wait to ride this bull. Ever since he was born I knew he would make a great bull.

We herded the two down to the loading ramps and into the trailer. Roza and I were to take them to a local rodeo for re-ride bulls. It was simply something to keep them occupied till the serious PBR circuit started in a few months.

I sighed as I un-tacked Danser. Roza was close to twenty now, leaving me at twenty four/five-ish. Roza had been taking a few classes at a college nearby so I walked to the library, hoping to find her there. I walked in there and saw Roza with her feet tucked under her asleep in a chair. She had a book on her lap, probably fell asleep studying. We still had a few hours before we needed to leave. I gently picked the book up and closed it, before lifting Roza and walking up to her room. I met Janine on the way and she gave a small smile.

I lowered Roza to her bed before pulling the sheets over her. I settled down beside her and she moved towards me slightly, a hand reaching out to lie on my calf. I smiled and ran a hand through her hair. I finally moved and got the truck warmed up. I went to wake Roza to find she wasn't where I left her. I cocked my head, listening. I herd footsteps in the hall before her door opened. I turned to see Rose dressed in hip huggers and a low cut v-neck shirt. I suppressed a groan when I saw a sliver of her stomach between her shirt and jeans. She had one of her overly expensive jeweled belts and her pink Justin boots. Her dark brown hair cascaded down her back in waves.

She tried arching one eyebrow and failed. I chuckled and wrapped her in my arms. She pulled back to look me in the face.

"Come on cowboy, we gotta go." I sighed and walked to my room, Roza following. She flopped un gracefully onto the bed. I rolled my eyes.

"Please, by all means, make yourself at home." Sarcasm dripped from my voice. She picked at her nails before peeking at me from under her lashes.

"It wouldn't be the first time I lay here." Memories crashed onto me and I wished I had time for a cold shower. I pulled out a random Cinch brand t and a pair of wranglers. Roza always said they made my ass look good, though I never checked personally. I slipped them on and grabbed my lace up Justins. I tied my hair back and moved to grab my cap. Roza had other plans however. She slipped the leather tie from my hair, allowing it to hang loosely. I pushed it back before slipping my cap on.

Roza, who seemed well rested, stood on her tip toes and pecked my lips before walking off, swinging her hips. Tease. I humphed and walked after her. As I descended the stairs, I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going, so when Roza suddenly stopped and bumped into her before reaching out to catch her out of reflex. I looked at the bottom of the stairs to see Lissa and Mia standing at the bottom. Shit.

They froze when they saw Rose, who seemed to have recovered. She walked down the stairs and out the door, slamming it on her way out. Abe looked slightly uncomfortable, as did I, in the middle of what could have been a potential cat fight. I walked down the rest of the stairs.

"Lissa, Mia." I said with a nod, then looked at Abe. "I guess we're gonna head out." He nodded and gave me the "thanks for leaving me with them look". I quickly followed Rose. I found her in the passenger side of the truck, looking at nothing in particular. I placed one of my hands over hers, before shifting to first and heading up the drive. This was gonna be a long night.

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**So, Whatcha think? leave me reviews and tell me what you thought or what you would like to see in here :))) i love hearing from you:)) thank you again for reviewing favoriting and alerting :))))**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay and shortness of this chapter. :/ lifes been pretty hectic and doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon, though i will try my best to update.**

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I thought about what I had let happen a few months back and knew we went to fast. I had wanted him, to know he still wanted me. Seeing Liss made me realize I needed time. I was going to try to fix things, but I needed time. I knew Dimitri had been chomping at the bit to ride bulls for some time now but hadn't because he wanted things to work out. I, however, hadn't let anything intimate happen between us. Not even a kiss. I knew it confused the hell out of him but I wasn't ready. Every time I would pull away with some excuse.

Even now, as I sat facing the window in the truck, guilt overwhelmed me. I hated knowing I was hurting him, even if he had hurt me. By pushing him away I saw pain and confusion flare in his eyes. He regretted what had happened and I wanted to accept that but something was holding me back. Something that I didn't know of.

The rodeo was okay, I wished I had been riding rather than watching but over all it was good. Our bulls had fun at least. As Dimitri shut the truck off I moved to get out but he caught my arm.

"Roza, I'm leaving in a few days." I looked at him, knowing he would continue. "What's wrong? I can't leave knowing something is hurting you." I sighed. Why couldn't I take him back? I wanted to. So much. I wanted to forget everything but I couldn't. Not right now anyway. I could feel the water works starting back.

"I can't do this right now Dimitri. I've tried but I can't." my voice cracked as I scrambled from the truck.

I watched as his Chevy drove up the drive. Letting the tears that I had been holding back fall freely now. I walked to the barn and went to Dinero's stall. I unlatched the gate and walked to the tack room. I grabbed a simple one eared hackamore and slide it over his head. I led him to our indoor arena and jumped on. He pranced eagerly. I laughed and kicked him to a lope. I put him through his paces before goofing around. I slipped his bridle off and used my legs to take him around the arena.

I cooled him down and hooked him to the cross ties in the hall way. I thought to the past few days. Dimitri had avoided me after our talk the other night. He had talked to Mia and Lissa who had been staying here, but didn't even glance at me. Not once. The three acted as if I had never existed. I was an outsider in my own house. The thought alone twisted my heart like thousands of knifes.

"Hay little beauty." I sighed as Jase walked up behind me. Atleast we were staying in the country this time. They were staying here til we left tomorrow and headed out to the circuit.

Avery and I were headed to a tack shop. It was about 7 and dark. It had begun to rain and made it hard to see. I sat in the passenger seat, fiddling with the radio. I hear tires squeal and let out a yelp as I see a four horse rig skidding through the red light. Avery swerved and we both watched in horror as the trailer tipped. I could hear yells of fear from the animals inside and as soon it came to a stand still I was in motion. I jumped from the truck and ran to the trailer. I could hear Avery talking on the phone, to emergency dispatch if I was guessing.

I unlatched the back and looked in. Two black thoroughbreds were standing hunched over and cramped on the side of the trailer. I crawled in and untied both leads before yanking on the gates. They gave and sent me spiraling backward. I hit my head and let out a string of curses no child should ever hear. I grabbed the ropes and lead the two from the metal heap. They trembled against each other as I pulled my phone out.

"Hello?"

"Jase, bring the trailer to the intersection of parks and Florence. Make it quick." with that I hung up the phone as paramedics and police surround us.

Jase arrived within 15 minutes and I feared for the people he had met on the way. We quickly loaded the animals, and with a word to the owners we were on our way to the nearest vet.

The woman who owned the horses dropped by late that night saying she would take them home and thanking us repeatedly. Jase and I pulled in the drive at around 3 am. Since we were leaving the next day we decided to sleep for a few hours before getting back to work.

After getting our things together and loading our horses, we headed out. I let Jase drive, not feeling well. After an hour we stopped somewhere to eat although for once I wasn't hungry. I guessed it was from being out late. I felt my stomach churn and ran to the bathroom, Avery not far behind, where I emptied the contents of my stomach. She starred at me with calculating eyes before finally dragging me up and pulling me behind her.

"I don't nee-" I complained, only to be cut off.

"Humor me Rose." I sighed and walked to the bathroom of mine and Avery's motel room. There was no arguing. I peed on the stick and set it on the counter, walking back to the small bedroom. I sat next to her and waited. It seemed like forever before she stood up and walked to the bathroom. I was tense in fear when she walked out wide eyed. I could feel tears pool in my eyes. She handed me the stick with the plus sign on it before pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

"You should call him." A deep voice scared me. I looked up to see a tense Jason. The tears threatened to spill over and his expression crumbled he walked to me and held me as I let everything I had been holding back out.

When I regained myself I called Dimitri.

"Hello" I could hear a giggle in the background and my heart twisted.

"Dimitri, I'm sorr-" was all I could say before he cut me off.

"It's fine Rose. You didn't want the relationship so I made an effort to move on." And he hung up. I slide my phone shut and sat there. I would go back home, live in the guest house on the western border of our ranch. It had it's own small barn and out door arena. Jase got on his knees in front of me.

"Relationship or no, I would love to help with your little one." He would leave the circuit to help me, not in a relationship, but as a friend. I nodded and threw my arms around his neck, taking comfort before facing the world, or more importantly, my parents.

DPOV:

I suppressed a whimper as I rolled out of bed. After Roza called yesterday I got wasted. I don't know why I hung up, I just couldn't talk and hear her voice knowing she had rejected me. The rational part if my mind told me she needed time. My head was pounding as I yanked the curtains to.

Months past much the same but my longing never left. I hadn't herd of Rozas rodeo group at all so I decided to ask around. I walked up to Mikhail at breakfast and sat next to him.

"Not much news of Jason, Jake, Avery, and Adrian." I hoped that would start the conversation. He sighed and faced me.

"O there's news, I just figured you already knew. Jason and Rose aren't on the circuit anymore." He must have seen the look of alarm on my face and continued. "They ain't together before you get your pannies in a wad. Jason is helpin to take care of Rose till she has her baby, probably even after."

He said it like it was old news. I simply starred with my jaw slack.

"Well if he knocked her up he should stay!" It hurt to know she was having a kid. Mikhail just shook his head.

"You tellin me, that when you were at the ranch, you didn't have any fun with with her." His eyebrows raised. It couldn't be mine though could it? Mikhail chuckled and slapped my shoulder before paying his bill and walking out, leaving me looking at him. Was that what she called for? My gut twisted and I threw money on the bar and followed Mikhail's previous route. I would finish this season in December and go to Texas. I would beg and plead and hope it as enough. God I was such an ass.

RPOV:

"Your what?" My mother was screeching. I sighed. My dad turned to her.

"Is it really a surprise Janine? It was bound to happen sooner or later and accidents happen. Have you contacted Belikov?" the last part was directed to me.

"I tried..." He took that answer and moved my mother out of the room. Later that night he told me that him, Jase, and one of the ranch hands named Tanner would move most of my things to the guest house and Fly, Dinero and JD would be moved as well I thanked him and lied down, thinking about everything that had happened.

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**Leave me some reviews please :)))) even though its incredibly short :/ sorry again :) hope you liked it :))**


	8. Chapter 8

**I know i know it pathetic that it took me this long to update :( EOCTs are coming up and school is hectic plus show season and trail season is about to get wound up again and ill be extremely busy but will try my best to update at least once a month. i know not a lot but all i can try for. i wont give this story up though so dont worry :) on a better note all of my horses are just about ready to start back to showin ;) Anywho on to wat youve been waiting for... im sry if it is fast paced but i tried :/**

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I saw the sky before tumbling to the ground and scrambling up before the crazy ass could stomp me. Of course it caught a rib and I felt my eyes sting in a very non masculine way as I jumped to the panel and the bull took to the fighters. I jumped down, wincing slightly and walked to pick up my hat. I could see Roza's face, twisted in disappointment. I shook my head, clearing my mind before walking through the gates, only stoping when mikhail handed me my rope. I continued my way to my truck. I jumped on the tail gate, jaw clenching, holding back a flinch. I slid my vest off gently and un buttoned my red Justin shirt. Sure enough, over my left ribs a large bruise was forming. I put my rope, vest and chaps in my duffel and made my way to the clinic.

The doctor wrapped my ribs, saying they were only fractured and told me to sit out the rest of the season. I huffed and with a farewell to everyone, I decided to visit my mother in Texas. It would take a day of hard driving to make it from Oregon to east Texas.

I pulled in and shut the truck off before grabbing my clothes and stiffly climbing from the truck. My sisters had moved back to Russia a few years back, so that left me and momma in the u.s. She was standing on the porch as I climbed the stairs to the simple, elegant house.

"I figured you would see Roza in your free time Dimka." She had a knowing glint in her eye that let me know she knew of the child.

"We ain't together momma, you know that. It's a small town."my voice was rough. She shook her head and opened her arms, which I gladly stepped into. It was nice to feel my mothers embrace after everything. It felt better to know even after the stupid shit I had done, my mother still loved me. I realized that subconsciously I had been waiting for her to call me out on my mistakes and tell me to leave.

I sat on the edge of the bed I spent my child hood in. It ate at me to know that Roza was at the ranch, not 5 miles from here, and I wasn't there. As much as I loved my mother, I was getting restless. It had been three days and I was fidgety, almost like a spooky colt. Just as I thought this my mothers voice from the door way alarmed me.

"Your fidgettin' Dimka. Go to the ranch and if nothing else help Abe around the barn. He ain't as young as you are." I gently touched my wounds before speaking.

"I don't feel young mamma." she sighed and sat next to me on the bed. She stroked my hair.

"You'll work things out Dimka." She sounded so sure. "'Sides, at first glance I could tell it was your boy." I pulled back, shock taking my features. She had seen him? I knew the baby would have been born by now, but... Wait boy? The baby was a boy? I could feel tears pool in my eyes as I thought at how I hadn't been there.

"Roza is as sweet as I remembered. She brings him over some. Looks good to have a kid to." with a pat on the back, she left me to think.

I slammed the door and yanked my duffel from the bed. I had called Abe and he welcomed me back. I knocked only to be greeted by a pissed off Janine. Her mood didn't seem to brighten at seeing me. She stepped back and I took the invitation. Abe rounded the corner with a sandwich in his hand, mid bight.

"Your welcome to stay in the bunk. I would fear for you if you stayed in this house." he said with a look to Janine. She stormed off with a huff. I nodded, starring at my scuffed boots before walking down the hall to the door.

"You won't start till the week after next, don't wanna hurt your ribs." I went to argue but he interrupted. "It hurts more than you'll admit. Your welcome to ask."

I sighed. Did I want to know?

"How is she?" I worked hard to make sure my voice didn't break, though it probably showed.

"Good. She could be better but considering." I nodded. "She's staying in the guest cabin with Jason and Aleksandr." Brave. My eyes flicked to his before I lower my gaze once again. I herd him sigh. "Everyone makes mistakes Dimitri. The way back into her heart isn't as hard as It seems it is. Though I wouldn't repeatedly try. Go see her. She's probably exercising Arch in the arena." I nodded and walked onto the porch.

Danser and I made our way trough the wooded section of MH. Before long we came out at a small bank overlooking the guest house. It was nice with it's arena, barn, and house. What I saw in the arena shocked me. I could see the barrels rolled to the side. Large, I would say 4-5 foot jumps littered the arena in some scrambled pattern. Roza, in a pair of what looked like track shorts, a tank, and the half chap things sat astride a large horse. He seemed to be a thoroughbred and was black. Momma was right, she did look good. It was November, but a hot one at that and I could see that both her and the horse were lathered.

Danser and I made our way down the slope and were greeted by Jason who just stepped from the house. I climbed from Dan, still stiff from my ribs. Jason held his hand out and I shook it, afraid of where this conversation would lead.

"Bout time cowboy. Thought you'd never get your head out your ass. Don't worry, she may be a bitch a first but she'll let you back in." I stood there speechless. He cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Sweet cheeks, got a visitor. I'm gonna see Amy." Roza's head turned to us and she stopped the giants movement. She nodded before her gaze landed on me. She unstrapped her helmet and placed it on the fence before walking the horse down. Jason just winked and hopped in his dodge. I led Dan to the arena. I noticed a baby monitor sitting on a post and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. As soon as he could walk, she'll have him riding some pony. No I decided I would at least get him a horse. My child shouldn't have to ride a pony.

After another lap she stopped in front of me and hopped from the horse. I held back a laugh as I took in the size difference between these two. She ran her hand through her hair and jumped to the fence beside me. She plopped down and starred ahead like me. Finally she spoke. "Come on." She jumped back down and walked to the barn, grabbing the monitor and helmet on her way. Dan and I followed.

She cross tied the black and motioned to the only empty stall. I slid the saddle from Dan's back and the hackamore from his face. Rose waited till I was done. She looked to the saddle which stood at least a half a foot above her head. I sighed and lifted the saddle from his back and took it to the tack room. I walked out just as she finished brushing him. She unclipped the cross ties and took him into one of the stalls. I simply stood there watching her. Without saying anything she walked past me towards the house. I took that as an invitation and followed her into the house.

The inside was cozy looking. I caught myself thinking what it would be like to live here with her but quickly nipped that thought before it could grow. I would return to the bunk house and she would stay here. I was even surprised she hadn't yelled yet. I herd a door open at the end of the hall and proceeded in following once more. My mind flashed to the day Dinero had been down and she had drug me behind her. Now she didn't even have to touch me, I would follow her anyway. I was whipped and she didn't know it. I walked through the open door and into a brown room. It had cowboys on the walls and other baby like things. My eyes flashed to the other side of the room and my breath caught. Roza stood with Aleksandr in her arms. My expression crumbled and my heart swelled. She motioned me over and I made my way cautiously, afraid it might be a joke.

I stood hovering over them before she placed him gently in my arms. She then said something about getting food started and left the room. I sat in a chair in the corner, simply gazing. I fought back the tears as I realized how much I had screwed up. I don't know how long I sat there but soon he opened his eyes. They were chocolate like mine. His hair was Roza's black/brown. I felt a tear slip and hastily rubbed it away. Alek grabbed at my shirt and fisted it in his little hand. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead as he drifted back off. I herd the door creak open and my eyes fell on familiar brown ones. I rose from the chair and handed him to Roza for her to put him down.

"Thank you Roza." I meant it to. She nodded. "I'm sorry" I blurted out before i could stop it.

"I know. Besides, I wasn't gonna keep him from his father. He needs someone besides the regular ranch hands." As she spoke I realized something. She hadn't yelled at me because Aleksandr needed me, not her. I felt a lump form in my throat and my eyes stung. Somewhere in the back off my mind I registered that I was becoming a marshmallow. I nodded once more before walking to the door and slipping my hat back on before stepping outside. I let out a shaky breathe before walking to saddle Dan up.

The realization had been spinning in my head the whole ride home and as I settled Danser into his stall it still had the same affect.

RPOV:

I hated saying those words to him but I knew it needed to be said. He had looked broken when I first saw him talking to Jase. Archangel was one of the horses that was in the accident a year ago and his owner didn't have time for him anymore. I took him and have been working him until I can find someone who actually wants to compete. Jumping was fun, just not my thing. I had been to a few local rodeos but I wanted to be on the circuit. I knew I would have to wait until Alek was older.

I looked at him as he slowly drifted off after having a bottle. He looked so much like Dimitri it killed me sometimes. I was proud to say I was the same size if not smaller than I had been before Alek came along.

Jason had come home not long ago after seeing his girlfriend. I got the impression Amy didn't like me. Probably because I lived with Jason. O well, it wasn't like I was forcing him to stay here. Speak of the devil, Jason rounded the corner and sat with me at the table.

"So, your cowboy finally turned up." I rolled my eyes.

"He wanted to see his kid, I wasn't going to keep Alek from his father." it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"True, but that's not all he came for Rose." I simply stared at him. "Come on your not that dumb, it was written all over that poor boys face. He came to 'help' but wanted to see you. He loves you no matter what you think." With that he walked down the hall and into his bedroom, leaving me starring at nothing.

The next morning dawn beautiful. Jase, Alek, and I made our way to the ranch house in his dodge. Every Sunday we would have breakfast with everyone before heading out to work.

I walked to the kitchen with Alek in my arms and Jase following close behind. Abe, Janine, Dimitri, and Lance, a ranch hand, were already seated. I took my seat which happened to be across from Dimitri. I looked up and caught his gaze before he averted his eyes and started conversation with my father. The other ranch hands soon made their way to the table and took their spots.

I was eating a piece of bacon when the conversation was directed to wards me. "Rose, someone has come to look at Arch, do you want him to come to the guest house?" I nodded as I felt a stare on me. I noticed there wasn't a soft russian laced voice taking anymore and looked up to see said Russian staring at me with a longing expression on his face. This time it was me who turned first.

We had returned to the house and I had Arch saddled in no time. I was selling the saddle with him, seeing as I never rode English. Jase gave me a leg up and I rode out of the barn aisle. Dimitri had come to held Jase set up the jumps and opened the door for me to walk through. He didn't look up at me at all as I passed. I suddenly realized that I had come to count on him supporting me and now it was gone. I sighed. I would talk to him when this guy left.

Speaking of, Mr. Walters was a business looking man who had a daughter who looked to be fifteen. I warmed Arch up with a few laps in a slow lope and then turning to start a few jumps. We cleared triple with no problem, then an oxer before finishing in several cross rails. After a few more courses and letting the girl jump him, Mr. Walters dished out $15000 and loaded him up.

Eddie had called a few weeks ago asking if I could start one of his cutting prospects and begin showing him down here. I would call him back and tell him I would come pick him up.

DPOV:

After breakfast I had agreed to help Roza and Jase with jumps. I walked to the kitchen with my plate and noticed a frost on the ground. It was turning into fall quickly, I would have to find my jackets.

I turned and almost smacked into Abe. He handed me a carhart with MH Ranch embroidered on the left front and on the back it had a cutting horse and a bucking bull with "Mazur-Hathaway Ranch" circled around it. I thanked him and slipped it on before heading out on Danser. We rode up and I tied him to the hit hitching post in front of the house. Jason and I set up various patterns and the man in the suit seemed pleased with the black giant.

As they pulled from the drive Rose walked over to where Jason and I stood talking. "Can I borrow Dimitri?" I nodded and Jason left for some girls house. Alek was staying with Janine for the day so it didn't surprise me when Rose walked from the barn with Dan and Dinero in hand.

We walked through the wooded area close to her house. I knew she wanted to talk, I was just afraid o what she wanted to talk about. I herd her sigh and tensed causing Dan to become alert.

"I want you in our lives Dimka. I miss you. When I told you I needed you all that time ago I thought you knew it would never change. I've seen Jase and his girl and even Chris and Liss together and I'm alone. Adrian and Avery are engaged and I've got no one. Jase stays with me like a brother but I know if he didn't feel obligated to stay with me he would live with Amy and be on the circuit. I don't like holding someone back. If you don't want to stay I understand but Jase was talking about what would happen if he and Amy got serious."

I sat astride Dan and took in everything she said. Was she asking me to live with her? She must have seen the confusion on my face.

"Theres a guest bedroom. I'm sure it's mote comfortable than the bunk house. Especially with fractured ribs." she added the last part with a smirk.

"I would love to live with you Roza. Even if only as a friend I would be honored." She nodded and we made our way home.

I rode with her to the ranch house to pick my things up from the bunk house and get Alek from Janine. Rose held him while I drove home. Jase was at Amy's probably telling her he was moving out. On the rode back I drove, letting her hold Alek. He was sleeping snuggled up to Roza. I still couldn't believe she actually wanted me to live with them.

She looked at me from the corner of her eyes. I shifted into second and turned my attention to her. "I'm leaving Alek with mamma while I go pick up a cutting prospect to start for Eddie. You wanna accompany me?" I pretended to think for a while and she slapped my arm. I chuckled and nodded. "I would love to Roza." She laughed and I chuckled along with her, realizing that even just as this I was happy. Happier than I had been in over a year. I pulled it into neutral and turned the truck off. Roza climbed out with Alek and I followed with my duffel bag. After she had Alek down she showed me to my room next to hers upstairs. It had its own bath and was quit nice. She had really fixed this place up. After a long shower I dropped into bed, for once excited about tomorrow. I rolled over and felt the twinge in my ribs but ignored it.

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**R&R please i need all the insperation i can get. let me know what ya think :)))**


	9. Chapter 9

**WHOA, i feel terrible about the delay :/ so im joining a 4-h equestrian drill team in a week, trying to pass lit and running barrels and poles. though i will be updating this story as much as i can. about my story New Soul, im not sure if i will be continuing... i feel that not many people are reading it at the lack of reviews. i need inspiration and i havent gotten it. On a better note, i have given some serious thought recently on making Source of the Past more than a one shot. not sure though, rite now my main concern is finishing this story. i have no idea when that will be or how long i will make this story. i plan to go until i run out :)))) ANYWHO... on to the story**

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I sighed as Dimitri pulled through the gate at Eddie's. Over the past few months I had been helping him with training some of his colts so he could get a better price. Since times were getting tough for some, they only spent there money on one that wanted to work at something already. He said he thought this one would be a cutting horse and I was thrilled to have the chance to train him. Dinero, Jd, and Fly were doing good at barrels, fly being the only one who didn't compete regularly. He was just getting the rating right so we still had a ways to go before he was ready.

Dimitri parked and I hoped out just in time for Eddie to scoop me up in a bear hug. I giggled and he finally put me back on the ground. He and Dimitri shook hands and immediately began talking as he led us through his yearling barn. I looked in each stall, every time seeing a gorgeous head staring back. I was trailing behind, not paying attention to their guy talk so I didn't realize they had stopped until I ran into Dimitri's back.

I glared at him through my eyelashes and peered over the door to see a stud colt lying lazily on his side. He propped his head up and looked at us. I laughed and let myself in. He simply lied back down uncaringly. I looked to the two guys.

"I like this one already." I said smiling. Eddie laughed before replying. "I thought you might. Appalachian Aftershock is quit the bum." I giggled as the colt huffed and scrambled to his feet. He was classic champagne colored and already stood close to 15 hands. He dropped his head to my stomach before popping his nose and head butting me. This making me laugh harder.

"His name doesn't fit him. It seems like Appalachian Aftershock would describe one with more spunk." I looked to where my hand was rubbing circles on his ear. I glanced at his face and saw his eyes drooping. I snorted and moved to get his halter. I slipped it over his ears and lead him out, noticing the swift movement of his legs. He was graceful that was for sure. He was definitely built for cattle.

"I'll work with him but I'm not sure I can get him to do anything." I said with another suppressed laugh. Eddie snorted and told us to be careful as we loaded up.

It took a day and a half to make it back home but I happily pranced in the main house and scooped little Alek up in my arms. We soon arrived at 'our' house and I took Alek in while Dimitri settled Hoc in. I shortened his mouth full of a name into hoc. I don't know how I made it up it just came to me. I lay Alek in his crib while I walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle. Alek ate and was soon asleep and I was settling him down when I heard the front door close. It was dark by now and I flipped the kitchen light to see Dimitri setting at the table unlacing his Justins.

When he finished he set his boots aside and looked up at me. "Where's supper darling?" He drawled out I snorted and rolled my eyes as I slapped some peanut butter on bread and set it down in front of him. He looked at it before sighing and taking a bite. I laughed. "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else." He said as he winked. I huffed. "Awww Roza, you know I'm just playin' with ya."

He got up and kissed my cheek before thanking me and picking his boots up from the floor and walking up stairs. I sighed, completely confused with why I still felt something towards that tall, dark, cowboy. I walked up stairs not really paying attention to where I was going or that the water in Dimitri's bathroom had stopped running. As I rounded the corner I bumped into something solid. Well damn.

I looked up in time to see his eyes close and him pinch the bridge of his nose. "What's wrong?" I squeaked in a high voice, not oblivious to just how much clothing he wasn't wearing. His voice was dangerously low when he answered. "I have made it clear how I feel, and this is not a promising situation for you if you don't feel the same."

He looked physically strained and his voice was gruff, eyes still closed. I stupidly took my eyes from his face to his muscled chest right in front of me and my legs quivered simply at the looks of him. And I wondered how I came out with a kid that was his. The man was a god for sure. I squeaked out something else barely intelligible and ran for my room.

DPOV:

I sat on the edge of the bed and let out a shuddering breath I didn't know I had been holding. That was close. To close. I got up and put on a pair of pajama pants and sat back down. Well fuck me sideways. I wanted her desperately, no scratch that, needed her. She just didn't know. Not that she ever would now, I had ruined that opportunity. Shot it in the foot and left it to bleed. Now I was a friend. Back to where I had been before our relationships.

Friend. That word rung through my head over and over, continuously. I sighed. I would be the one to pick her up when guys broke up with her or things simply didn't work out. Tell her "you'll get um this time" and "it's their loss". Even as much as it would hurt me. As long as she's happy I'll be happy. Though I know that's a lie. I won't ever be completely happy without her. Though as long as I'm in her and Alek's life in some way I can find it in me to go on. We had talked about us finally getting back on the rodeo circuit the other day, and I knew I would follow whatever circuit she decided on. I could never be away from them for very long. Not now.

I looked at my hands and they were shaking. This weekend had been great. To go back to how things were. Seeing Eddie was nice to, he had made a nice living for himself and I planned on going back to get me a paint quarter horse colt I had seen. I already bought it but was waiting for Eddie to ween him in a few months. Rose didn't know because she was off playing with that lazy Hoc colt.

I walked downstairs and flipped on the t.v. Rose had obviously gone to sleep already, it was around 1 in the morning. I didn't sleep much nowadays anway. I turned on some weird sports channel and saw a rodeo on. It immediately had my attention. Ever since I could remember I was entranced by these things and promised myself one day I would be there. On that bull. And now look: I was sitting alone on a couch, listening for my son and wishing Roza would love me again, waiting to go travel the circuit with them. Whoever in the hell thought this one up deserves credit. I certainly wouldn't have thought of it turning out like this but I was somewhat happy. My career still looked promising, Roza didn't despise me, and I have the cutest little guy anyone could ask for. Ever. So in the grand scheme I was lucky compared to some of the guys who came home to an empty house. I looked to the screen just in time to see a guy get stomped. I touched my ribs unconsciously. Yeah, I didn't have it bad at all.

I finally got up and collapsed in bed to get what little sleep I could.

I woke to Roza shaking me. I looked up sleepily to see Roza extremely excitied. When she saw that I was coherent she plopped down beside me and lent her back against the head board. I slowly followed suit while looking at my clock. 6:30. Great. I gave Rose a questioning glance.

"Sooooo, Momma told me she would watch Alek tonight and tomorrow night so I could go to the rodeo a county over….." She looked up at me from underneath her lashes. I sighed. And you want me to go and help with JD and Dinero and haul your asses up there…"

She simply looked at me. After a few minutes her bottom lip jutted out and she batted her eyes a little and my control was gone. I sighed. "Why not." She squealed and grabbed me in a hug. Squeezing as tight as she could. She was after all only 21. I ignored the slight tinge in my rib and hugged her back just as fierce.

For the next hour we sat there simply talking about high school and the good days. I had an arm around her shoulder and her head was against my chest. Around 7 we took Alek to the main house and ate breakfast with the family. Rose kissed Alek on the forehead before walking out. I looked my son in the eyes and hugged him to me before handing him over to an eager Janine.

We spent the next 6 or 7 hours washing the truck, trailer, and both horses, loading everything we would need for the next few days, primping the horses and finally packing our things and showering before loading up. I had told Abe I would take a look on his bulls he leased out to the certain circuit to make sure they were doing fine.

I slipped my cowboy hat on and pulled on my pair of red justins to match my red justin logo t shirt. They do after all sponsor me so I felt obligated, not to mention it was clean. I took mine and Roza's duffels to the trailer and slung them in the living quarters. Soon the horses were loaded and we were on our way.

We got there around 7ish and got our rig set up. Or I did while Roza mingled with people she knew from local rodeos she had been attending. I over herd one say something about her boy friend and I looked up. I caught the red heads eyes and she blushed and looked down. Roza looked to me before replying something and the others shrugged. I cocked my head to the side asking her a silent question to which she mouthed later.

I set up the hay nets, had the horses tied, connected the electricity to the outlet given at the fairgrounds, as well as the water and sat in one of the two fold out chairs we had brought. As I sat under the canopy of the trailer I saw rig after rig come in and set up. Many of the bull riders came by to say hay or ask how my recovery was going. It was nice seeing some of my friends from highschool again and simply catching up. Up until I saw an old friend that brought memories crashing down on me. Oksana came and hugged my neck as her fiancée waited. Her brother, Ivan had been my best friend since I could remember. Had been. Senior year that changed. We were breaking a horse for one of his friends when the crazy assed thing jumped up and fell on him backwards. Crushed his ribs, punctured his lungs, killing him instantly. My fault. I hadn't been able to save him, to keep the horse under control. If Roza hadn't been with me I don't think I could have made it through that.

"How have you been Dimitri? Seems like forever." I chuckled and gestured for her to take a seat. Mark sat on a hay bale by her side as he let us catch up. They had been together since she was a freshman in high school and Ivan and I were merely in the 7th grade.

Oksana sat as I filled her in on the last two and a half years of my life. She sat silent for a minute after I finished before she jumped up and hugged me again.

"I want to meet her! I've seen her on t.v. and such but never officially! And now y'all have a baby boy together?" she squealed in delight. I rolled my eyes. "O don't be pissy, you'll get here back, believe me. She can try to resist you but from what I've herd…. She loves you Dimitri." Just as she winked I herd Roza walk around the trailer.

"And this must be her!" Oksana said, way to excited. "I'm Oksana, practically Dimitri's other sister. I herd you had his baby boy. Do you mind if I come see him?" I was about to scold her for being such a child when Roza cut in.

"Absolutely, I'm sure Dimka will give you directions to MH come on by anytime!" She said with a smile on her face. She had said Dimka. And by the looks of it she hadn't even meant to, it was just natural. I smiled. Soon Oksana said she was going to get a seat in the stands and that she would save me one if I wanted. I told her we may come up after Roza's event was over.

Roza asked me to saddle JD while she got dressed. I had the saddle and bell boots on him with his splints velcroed to the stirrups, about to put the bridle on when she walked out of the trailer. And man did she look stunning. Her shirt matched her saddle pad and splint boots, as well as her own boots. They were royal blue and she had a belt to match as well.

She stood beside me as I finished tacking him up, thanking me when I was done. She soon stated that she was going to warm up with some of her friends before the grand entry. I kissed her cheek and watched as she trotted off.

I closed my eyes for a second before opening the again. Damn did I love that girl. I just wished I could have proven it better.

I walked to the chutes to help the bronc riders get ready. I recognized a boy Roza had dated for a little before we got together in high school. I think his name was Hank. He was a real trouble maker. I never did like the way he treated Roza either, but I knew they still stayed in touch. He asked me a few questions about how we were and was actually civil. He congratulated me on Alek and I wished him luck in the go round he nodded before he sat down in the chute.

The gate opened and out the horse, wanting nothing more than to get Hank off and get him off fast. Hank managed to ride the full 8 and I turned to look for Roza behind the chutes. Just as I turned I her a clank, that only a horse and rider hitting the side panels would make. The sound was terrible and gut-renching. I herd a scream and I knew I found her. My eyes landed on Roza as her face contorted into a mask of horror. In that moment I knew, she would lose yet another person close to her.

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**I hope it was okay, i havent wrote in a while so i maybe a little rusty LOL ;) let me know! like i mentioned before i need the inspiration, especially rite now :)))**


	10. Chapter 10

**K so this is a pretty long chapter. im trying my best to make up for my tardiness but no guarantees on when thatll be. sorry for the wait. **

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I closed my eyes, the feeling of dread washing over me. I turned to face the arena again to see paramedics rushing in already. Hank had his hand on his chest but wasn't dead. No, not yet. I made my way to Roza as fast as I could. When she saw me approaching she jumped at me and buried her head in my chest. My stomach clenched and it felt like I would puke, but I knew I had to be strong. For my Roza, I had to be. I grabbed JD's reins and wrapped my other arm around her as I guided her back to the trailer.

The ambulance to off and I soon got Rose calmed down."You still running?" I asked. She nodded and I helped her stand. She climbed back on JD and after making sure she looked ok, rode back to the group she had been with before. I made my way back to the chutes, hoping nothing else bad would happen.

RPOV:

I ran a 15.2, not very impressive but I wasn't entirely focused, making JD nervous. It was my fault we didn't do great and that made me feel worse. I walked back to the trailer to see Dimitri already standing there already. He looked different, and not in a good way. He looked sad yet decided at the same time.

He turned and for the first time in a while I couldn't read his face. But, he came over and helped me down, asking how I did as if nothing was wrong. I could tell he was putting on an act though, I just didn't know why.

The next morning when I woke up I saw Hank standing with a group, talking. He had a sling on his arm and I would go out on a limb to say that he had his ribs wrapped. I bolted from the trailer and ran over to him. He turned a smiled. "It wasn't as bad as it looked darlin'" Truthfully, before Dimitri had shown up we had talked and had caught up but with Dimitri back he knew where my heart really was. I didn't know when I would let him back in but I would always love him and only him and Hank knew that.

"The only sucky part is that I'm gonna have to find a place to bunk, I'm off the circuit for a while." A grin broke across my face. "MH would take you! We're always lookin' for hands around the barn and as you heal you can help Dimka check cattle!"

He snorted, "You think that would be a wise idea?" I rolled my eyes and nodded before pulling my phone out and calling home. After getting the ok from Abe I told him to follow us out around noon. I gave a quick hug and turned back to the trailer to wake Dimitri up.

However, when I spun around I saw him standing in the doorway of the trailer looking at the ground. I walked up, ready to explain myself but the pain in his eyes when he finally looked at me stopped me dead in my tracks. He stepped down and walked around to the other side of the trailer before I could manage to get any words out of my mouth.

The ride back was silent. Not our usual silence either. For the first time since I could remember being with Dimitri, it was awkward and it was my fault. When we got home he was immediately out of the truck, unloading things and getting the horses out, leaving me with nothing to do. So, I figured he needed time to settle down I drove back to the house to get Alek and show Hank to the bunks. Abe talked me into staying for dinner so I ate with him Janine and Hank, almost forgetting the ride back.

When I finally was able to get home I put Alek, who was already out like a light, down and walked into the kitchen. I bowed up and stopped before Dimitri realized I was there. He was standing with his back facing me and no shirt on, wrapping his ribs. I figured they were almost healed but from the glimpse I got they were still bruised. Bad. I back around the corner and regained my control. He had said he was fine to work and ride, that they weren't that bad anymore.

I peaked back around and saw him stiffen as he pulled to make sure the wrap was tight. I heard him hiss in pain and felt my eyes prick with tears. I ran up the stairs into my room before he caught me. What was my problem? He was obviously trying to get me back and I still loved him. With everything. But I couldn't let him back. I couldn't tell you why but something was stopping me. And I couldn't figure it out. Damn it.

The next month past in the same fashion. Dimitri spent time with Alek as much as he could. He worked from dusk to dawn everyday and at night he was often at the main MH barn working with CowPoke, a little paint colt he went to Eddie's to get. Hank kept me company and didn't ask what happened with Dimitri because it was pretty obvious. Time with Hank became all that kept me sane. It was carefree and I didn't have to think about bad things. It was easy. I began to think that we could work. That we could be good together.

One night Hank and I came home from eating out and we kissed. It was short and surprising, but it wasn't bad. We tried it out again but jumped apart when we came aware of someone passing us, going into the house. I felt tears prick in my eyes as I realized Dimitri didn't deserve this. I quickly told Hank we would talk about this in the morning and ran after Dimitri. But when I got in the house he was gone already. I walked up the stairs to his room and found the door shut. I was tired of his shit. He had been acting pissy and ignoring me and my questions all month. I wanted answers.

I knocked but no one answered. I sat against the door, determined to get him to talk to me. I must have fallen asleep though, because I woke up in my bed, wrapped up. I jumped up, running down the stairs. I checked Alek and noted that he was sleeping peacefully before going to the front door. I looked out to see Dimitri's Chevy gone. I slipped my boots on before running to the kitchen to grab my keys. A slip of folded paper caught my attention before I could grab them though. I slowly walked to the table and saw my name written on it. I sunk into the chair when I recognized Dimitri's elegant handwriting.

_Dear Roza, _

_When I came back and you took me into your home willingly, I was enthralled. I couldn't believe it. You were giving me the chance I needed. And I tried, with everything in me; I tried to win you back. I love you and Alek more than you could even comprehend. When you invited Hank to MH I figured I could wait out the months it would take him to recover and get back on the road. It turns out I couldn't. I'm not that strong Roza, and for that I'm sorry. So sorry. So when I say I had to leave, I mean literally. I didn't belong here anymore. I will come and visit Alek as much as I can, but to stay here and have my heart ripped and tore everyday is more than I can handle. It's not your fault, so don't shed a tear over me, Roza. You and Hank have decided to take things to the next level and I'm happy for you. Maybe things will work. I hate seeing you hurt. I'll be back. That I promise you Roza. I remember that night at the rodeo you called me "Dimka" and hope raised its ugly head. Now I know you simply slipped up. I know you still care for me, but love won't always be enough. At least it hasn't been with us. To be honest Roza, I will be eternally grateful to you. You taught me to love. To actually love with all my heart. I know I won't ever love someone that way again but you still taught me. So, I guess this is goodbye than? I have one thing to ask. It's simple because we both know you always have a busy schedule. Remember me for who I used to be. Back when I was enough for you. I'm not saying to never get over me. I think your well on your way to that now. But remember. Because I know I will never forget. You're my savior Roza. Don't ever forget that._

_With all of my heart,_

_Dimka _

I think I was in shock for a moment. Then the tears came. They weren't uncontrollable, but they were close. After a long time of crying I walked to Alek's room and gave him a bottle. He had gotten so big and he looked so much like Dimitri it killed me. Just as he closed his eyes I heard the front door open. I laid Alek in his crib before seeing who had walked in, hoping with everything in me that it was Dimitri. That he was just playing a joke on me. That he wasn't really leaving. But when I rounded the corner and saw Hank there, with his hands in his pockets, looking at his boots. I made my decision last night.

"Hay" was all I could muster. He looked up and I threw my arms around him. "I'm sorry" he said quietly. After another tear session we went to the main house for dinner. I sat down at my usual spot and looked up across the table, expecting to see him. But my eyes landed on an empty chair. Hank grabbed my hand under the table and gave it a comforting squeeze. No one brought up his absence and for that I was grateful for. Extremely so. The truth is, you don't know how much someone means to you until you don't have them anymore. I had to learn that the hard way.

DPOV:

I pulled onto the main highway I let out a shaky breath, running my fingers through my hair. My tears really hadn't stopped but I hadn't expected them to. The last month had seemed like an eternity. And every day I could see Hank and Roza getting closer; I just thought we were doing better than that. I guess not. I was happy. I guess. I didn't really have a choice. I knew the circuit was still out there but I wasn't going back. I had lived my dream, but I was tired and felt older than I ever had. No, I was headed to Eddie's. I figured I would check there and if not there I'd go somewhere else. I would do whatever I just had to get out of Texas. That state had caused too much pain already. I would come back for CowPoke as soon as I could borrow a trailer.

After hours of tears and driving I pulled into Rockin' C Ranch. I saw Eddie walk out on the porch before recognizing the truck. I cut ignition and pulled myself together. It was my fault anyway. I wasn't enough to catch her anymore.

As I stepped from the truck Eddie spoke. "Hay man, what brings you up here so late?" I turned to face him and didn't miss the once over he gave me. I must really look like hell.

I cleared my throat before answering. "I don't think I belong at MH anymore. And I was looking for a place to help out around. This was the place I thought of first." his eyes widened as he put two and two together to understand why I left. "Who is it? Hank? She told me while you were still riding on the circuit that they had been talking. But I thought since you came back…" He didn't have to elaborate. I thought the same. I nodded as an answer.

"Well damn bud. Ya your more than welcome to stay." I nodded and grabbed my duffel. "You can stay in the basement. It finished and it's practically a house. You can enter through the back so it won't be like living right with me and Amber." I nodded as I followed him around the back. "You can park here," He pointed to a patch of gravel cover by a small building. "And dinner is at 6 every day. Once I tell Amber you're here you can bet she'll make you eat with us." He said laughing fondly at the small brunette's bossiness. I pang shot through my chest as he gave me the key.

I threw my stuff in the bedroom and pulled my truck around back. It was around 8 and it being winter it was pitch black. I could barely see quarter horses roaming in the pastures in the distance. It was nice. A change of scenery. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

The next morning I decided to get up and move around at 5:30. I jumped in my truck and went to a small supermarket. I got some of the basic foods and some more clothes. I put everything up when I got back and went to find Eddie.

He was in the breeding barn, checking some of his mares. We talked as we walked down the aisle, peeking our heads in. "Would you mind me takin' your trailer back to get Poke?" He told me to go on ahead whenever I felt like it. I turned to leave after thanking him but stopped when he called out.

"You wouldn't mind takin' Amy would you?" Amy was Amber's younger sister who just turned 19 if I could remember correctly. I shook my head. I remembered her from when I stayed here for about a month right out of high school. She was pretty cool and we made friends but that was a while ago and she was just a kid, not a young woman.

Eddie broke my thoughts. "Hay take the dodge, I don't want the Rockin' C trailer hooked to no Chevy." He winked and I just rolled my eyes. "Tell her to be ready by tonight. We're leavin' after dinner.

I hopped into his work truck. It was a dodge 3500 flatbed. I looked over and saw a small picture of him and Amber and for the millionth time today felt my chest tighten painfully. I thought about my journey back to the place I've always called home. The road with Amy should be interesting. I hadn't talked to her in a while but I knew she had grown up to be a handful. She ran barrels and poles to. I didn't think it would be a wise decision to get tangled with another one of those. I sighed.

I looked up as I waited for the diesel to warm up and saw a girl walk into the main barn with a white horse following right at her heels. She was pretty, but Roza was still on my mind. She was definitely enough to get my attention though and I was instantly curious as to know shoe she was. She had a junior rodeo jacket on and an expensive looking pair of boots. Looked like she definitely won some money every once in a while.

After realizing I had been starring I pulled up to Eddie's trailer and hooked up. As I was finishing Eddie walked up to me. "Your job will be to ride out and check the herds every week. That and be trainin' your little colt. Till he gets grown I'll put you on Whiskey." I nodded. Whiskey Pass was a grullo paint stallion.

After double checking everything I packed a small duffel of clothes because I wasn't going to give it hell with Poke in the back. I checked my phone for the first time and saw three missed calls and two voice mails. _"Dimka, I'm sorry. Come home. Please."_The last one held anger, _"I'm sorry, but maybe you did the right thing."_I felt sick to my stomach as I climbed the stairs.

I had stayed at Eddie's before when I had been on the circuit and a rodeo was around. So as Amber spotted me she ran and gave me a huge hug for a small girl her size. "I'm sorry" I nodded and returned her embrace. Eddie motioned to a seat across from him at the table and we launched into talk about the farm and any help he would need with repairs when we returned. Amber sat down beside Eddie before cutting in. "Amy said she would be a little late, she's still trying to figure out what to do with Warrior while she's gone." Eddie rolled his eyes, kissing Amber's hand. "She does know we'll only be gone for a little while right?" Eddie burst out laughing while Amber smacked his thigh. "She loves that horse. Besides you were the one who gave him to her. I feel bad for Scott. She loves Warrior more than she'll ever care for him."

At this Eddie nodded. "You know Scotts just another play thang to her anyway." Amber sighed and suddenly I didn't know if I wanted to here anymore of this conversation. Just as I thought that the girl I saw early walked in. Eddie cleared his throat. "Amy, you remember Dimitri?" She froze mid way through taking her jacket off and turned. The moment she saw me she was running toward me. I swear it ran in the family. She threw her arms around my neck. "I'm so so so sorry Dimitri! I can't believe it. That gurl ain't thankin' right I swear." I laughed before giving her a final squeeze.

She sat down and turned to the others. "'Least now I aint gonna be alone in this house with the love birds." This caused me to crack a small smile as we all began to eat. It was nice to be surrounded by people; even if I still knew when it came down to it I was still alone.

I walked to the dodge and threw my bag into the back, before cranking it up to warm. I went to find Amy, thinking she would have already been here by now. Going on a whim I went to the main barn and sure enough, she was there kissing the horse I guessed to be Warrior on the nose. I slipped away without being noticed. The sunset was unbelievable and I had a sudden longing to see Rose again.

I let a breath out and turned when I heard footsteps. "Sorry I was sayin' bye to my favorite boy." I snorted before replying. "You better hope your boyfriend ain't stayin' here. Eddie would have a cow." She just laughed and shook her head.

We jumped into the truck and started down the road. I had called Abe and he said to come by whenever so I planned on getting Poke sometime tonight our early in the morning and stop on the way back to sleep some. About 3 hours into the journey Amy lay over and curled up in the seat, resting her head in my lap. I shook my head and kept driving. We pulled in MH around 5 in the morning. Amy popped up in the seat and looked out.

Her expression was priceless. Her mouth formed an O as she stared out at the mingled herds of horses and cattle. "This. Is. Awesome." I laughed, but only barely. Abe had said they were babysitting Alek and that I could stay however long to spend time with him. I was excited but nervous at the same time. What if she was here? Hank would defiantly be there. And she sounded so mad in the voicemail. I swallowed hard. Amy put her hand over mine in a comforting gesture.

I pulled to the main barn and stepped from the truck. Amy was instantly beside me, acting every bit of 19 as she was. "I want to go in the barn!" I chuckled and pulled her to me when she shivered. "We will when I get Poke. I'm goin' to see Alek first. Wait, where's your jacket?"

"In the truck." After seeing my questioning glance. "I was excited okay." I barked out a laugh and stepped up to the front door after I handed her my jacket. Janine opened the door and pulled me into a surprising hug. After I shook hands with Abe and introduced Amy I walked down the hall, while Amy was chatting away about their land, barn, arena, livestock, anything you could think of.

I picked my son up and simply held him. I didn't notice Amy was there till she made some noise. I turned to see her face and it was lit up with adoration. She held out her hands expectantly. She" awed" and made baby noises for some time. Asking me about everything that happened with Rose. It was nice to get it off my chest.

After I told her practically my whole life story she nodded, setting Alek back down. "Yea, I mean I've been with Scott for almost a year but, I mean I don't know, I'm starting to stop feeling it. Feeling us. And I don't know what to tell him." I nodded.

"Be honest, that's all that matters." We walked to the barn and Amy was just about jumping up and down. I opened the door and memories attacked me, everywhere I looked. My eyes stung and I did my best to blink them away. Amy stopped her voyage from stall to stall and grabbed my hand. "Come on, tell me about them." I nodded and followed. Telling her everything I knew about all of them. We got to a stall that I dreaded. Rose had been keeping Dinero here for breeding.

I turned away and Amy gasped. "That's not who I think it is." I nodded and her jaw dropped mile. Dinero's head popped up and he practically jumped from his skin as he came rushing to the gate. He nipped my arm and I remembered the day Rose came to get me because he was down. I sucked in a breath and moved from the stall.

**I came to Poke and slipped inside. Poke was almost three and about as mischievous as they come. He sunk his **head so I could slip his halter around his ears. Amy walked past me and let Poke smell of her. She hopped on his back like it was nothing. I gave her a "are you serious" look and she held her hands out for the lead rope. I sighed but tied the free end on his halter and gave them to her. "Be careful, Eddie would be mad if I killed his girlfriend's sister."

She rolled her eyes and rode Poke from the stall. I followed and opened the door to the trailer. Amy rode him around a little and I was pleased to see he wasn't trying anything. I pulled out the blanket I had got for him and leant against the trailer waiting for her to finish. I heard a dodge pull around from the other side of the truck. I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly who it was. Amy saw me stiffen and she trotted over to me. She patted Poke's butt. "Let's do this Mr. Bullrider." She said with a wink. I swung up and felt Poke stiffen. He pranced around a little but aside from the first uneasiness he walked around just fine.

"I want her to stay." Joked Abe as he walked from the house, followed by Hank and Rose. I turned my head as I saw her wrapped around Hank's waist. I heard Amy whisper "It'll be aight cowboy." Before I turned and put my poker face on. Rose stopped on the spot. I slid backwards off Poke's butt before tipping my hat. "I reckon we better be headin' back." Amy slid from his back as she agreed. "Yea, Rockin' C's quite a ways from here."

She blanketed Poke as I held him. Rose spoke up, trying hard but not succeeding at keeping her voice neutral. "That's where your stayin'?" I nodded without looking away From the ground at Poke's feet. Amy straightened up and punched me in the ribs before stealing Poke again and adding, " Yep, it's nice havin' Dimitri back at the house, that way I can ride more and he can repair everything."She sent a wink flying my way and I couldn't help the grin that cracked across my face. I shook my head and tried to ignore the look of disbelief on Rose's face as I loaded Poke up. I saw Danser walking in the pasture and said a silent farewell as we climbed into the truck. Amy said she would drive since I drove the whole way here, so I leant against the window and took in the place I had called home for so long for the last time.

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**im going to post pics of Eddie, Amy&warrior, Amber, and whiskey pass on my profile. but i want to know, who actually looks? please let me know if you do so i know im not just doing it for nothin LOL also please review, your comments are more than welcome :)))**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hiya! So again my apologies about my absence. School starts tomorrow and im hopefully starting to run divisions in a few more weeks again so i'm gonna b busy. which is why... i thought i would hurry my slow but up and post this after taking forever. please let me know what you think!Also the link to the video i made for this story: watch?v=pxCt94KQdx8&feature=g-upl i apologize for the quality being total crap but i was messing around on the computer one day and decided to do it! Please watch and let me know what you think about it! Anywho... onto the story :D**

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Roza slid her hands across my forearms before cupping my face, looking me in the eye with the most love anyone had ever showed me. I looked out across the lake. You could see Abe Mazur's impressive cattle herd off in the distance with several young horses clustered here and there. The lake lay on the back side of MH. Roza and I often came here, getting away from things, our hide out. I slid down, resting my head in her lap, closing my eyes for a moment. I took in the perfectness of this situation. There was no one else I would rather share this moment with than her. We often joked about what we would do in the future. She would run barrels professionally and I would ride bulls. That simple. We would eventually take over the ranch from Abe and raise a few kids of our own. All we knew is that we could never be apart. We just didn't know how we could live if we were somehow separated.

"I love you" She whispered before her lips brushed mine. I broke the kiss and returned the words softly, meaning every one of them. She giggled before pulling out from underneath my head allowing it to hit the ground. I humphed and turned to see her stripping her clothes from her body, running towards the water. A smile lit up my face as I followed suit, jumping in right behind her, wrapping my arms around her as we splashed into the water.

X

I sighed as I rubbed my tired eyes. I was leaving this morning, leaving MH, leaving my friends, but more importantly leaving my soul mate, leaving Roza. I knew we would work this out. We wouldn't let me going on the circuit come between us but it was going to be hard. She was about to turn 16, she was in her sophomore year of high school and couldn't come with me. Even if I wished my life away she couldn't leave.

I showered and looked at my tired reflection before throwing the clothes I had kept out on and grabbed my bags and headed down the stairs. I would stop by Momma's house on the way out. I expected Roza to be waiting on me but I didn't see her as I walked through what had become my home over the last couple of years. I stepped off the porch and walked to my truck and finally saw Roza, lent against my door. I threw my things in before taking her in my arms. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist.

After several minutes I set her in the seat of my truck and stood wrapped around her, with her head in the crook of my neck, trying not to break down and let the water works flow. I rubbed her back, doing the only thing I could think to soothe her while whispering in Russian. "I Will Always Love You Roza. Nothing Will Ever Change That."

That was all I had to say before she began to softly sob. Leaving her was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

X

I sat on the edge of her bed. I had just come home from the circuit for a week. I had a guitar ask I played her a few songs that I knew from the Casey Donahew Band.

_When I came home you said "you're crazy"__  
__Ya know, I think you're probably right__  
__Cause I've been out and I've been drinkin'__  
__I left you all alone again last night_

She rolled her eyes as she sat and listened silently. I saw her eyes begin to close and I smiled. She looked like she hadn't slept well in a while and I was glad she drifting off with me. She was so peacefully when she slept. It brought a smile to my face as I continued.

_But I've already fallen__  
__I've already lost control__  
__I've already missed__  
__And I've already sold my soul__  
__And I've already cried__  
__And I wish that I was flyin'__  
__But I'll keep on fallin'_

X

I sighed. I had swore I wouldn't let rodeo get between me and Roza. But what had my stupid self done? Just that. Let the thrill of rodeo cloud my mind and help erase the loneliness of the nights without her. My sweet Roza. Well not mine anymore. She had just said we weren't working. She was hurting so bad and I couldn't help her at all. Because I was never there. Not anymore. She said she would graduate early and join the circuit with me. She would hunt me down and travel with me. Be with me again. But that seemed so far away. It was January and as I headed out the long driveway of the ranch the enormity of our situation fell on my shoulders as a silent tear leaked out of my eye as I saw a horse that resembled JD run across one of the pastures with a mass of brunette hair flowing atop him. My head hit the head rest on the seat as I took a shaky breath.

X

I saw a Dodge 3500 and an aluminum three horse pull up at the barn and an all too familiar brunette headed beauty step out of the driver's seat. Lissa stepped from the other side and they unloaded their horses, taking them quickly out of the July heat and into the air conditioned barn. I looked to Mikhail, my travelling buddy and he had already picked up the difference. I had long heard the news of her and Ivashkov but I couldn't care less. Her as a friend was better than none of her at all. And I couldn't wait to hold her again. I jumped from the panel I had just been perched upon. I strode into the barn and quickly spotted her as she just got Dinero settled into his stall, munching on some hay. My pace quickened and my heart beat sped up. I scooped her up and she began to giggle. I never knew how she knew it was me even when she didn't see me but she did. Always.

"Roza. You came." I knew my face and voice held so much joy but I didn't care about keeping my usual stoic façade right now. Her only response was to cup the side of my face with her hand and say. "Of course Dimka."

X

His hooves were like thunder as he ran down the alley and turned the first barrel like it was nothing at all. At the second he barely had to touch his breaks before turning the complete 360 and charging off to the third. They charged out with a 14.1 run, leading the barrel racing and making quit the debut for themselves.

I looked at Mikhail with a small smile. They were bound to do wonders in the world of rodeo.

X

I was brought out of my thoughts as Eddie's truck stopped and he opened the door. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and climbed from the truck. All of my dreams have been like that since I left the ranch that last time. I was planning on going back I just didn't know when. Eddie's phone broke the comfortable silence we had been working in. He answered said a few words and his face turned grim he said his words of apologies. He promised he would find someone to look over the ranch to come help out.

He hung up and slid the phone in his pocket. "We're needed in Texas." My eyes tightened as my heart stopped. I was quick to put my emotionless mask I had been working on for the last month and I half. I nodded. He was my boss technically so I would do whatever he needed.

"I'm sorry Dimitri." He said. I shrugged. "It's fine, I've gotta go back sometime anyway." He shook his head. "No. It's Abe. He's in the hospital. He was pinned by a bull. They don't think he'll last the night." If it was possible my heart tore even more. He had been the father I never had. And they didn't think he would survive.

If I had been there could I have saved him? If I hadn't of run away from all my problems like a baby? I didn't know but I did know that I had to stay in Texas now. I had to help however I could.

X

Amy and I had kissed. Once. And then laughed at how dumb we were. If I had ever kissed my sister I imagined that's what it would feel like. I knew then that the only woman that could nurse my broken heart was the mother of my child, who probably couldn't stand me anymore. And if I was being honest, I wouldn't be able to stand me either if I was her.

The scenery whizzed by us as we drove from Eddie's place to the MH. We had our horses in the trailer. Amber was behind us driving my truck. Amy had left for a rodeo earlier in the week.

I had no words when we pulled into the long drive. There was a frost on the ground, it was a March morning and Janine, who had tired looking eyes, met us at the front telling us to put the horses in the barn and that Eddie and Amber could stay in the guest bed room.

I went to unload the horses when her voice caught my attention. "Your room is still where it was Dimitri." I turned and nodded my thanks, afraid that if I spoke I would lose it completely. For a 26 year old man I was a baby. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I spotted the big pasture between Rose's house and the main house and saw Dinero, Fly and JD lounging under a tree, all in their turn out blankets. They looked good for it being winter. I saw Roza's truck and trailer parked near the barn and suddenly knew she was about to hit the road again. I sighed. I wished I could travel with her and help her take care of Alek.

Suddenly I saw a girl walk from the bunk house. I cocked and eyebrow. Hank followed her and suddenly I put two and two together. Hank found him a girl to wear the pants in a relationship. That meant he wasn't with Roza. I mentally slapped myself as I walked Poke and Eddie's horse PokerJo into the barn. I put them into two empty stalls and hayed and watered them before walking down the aisle back out to the truck. Just as I went to open the side door I collided with someone. I looked down into the deep dark eyes that had been haunting my dreams for as long as I could remember. Roza.

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**Again please let me know what you think about this story and the video trailer i made for it! it would be greatly appreciated! :)))**


	12. Chapter 12

**O my goodness! Where to start? I dont think there is anyhting to say for my absence on this story especially. I hit a small writers block but i'm back. Im thinking there will only be one more chapter after this... I know I know, im back but ending the story. :/ I just think this is where the story should end. Let me know what you think and for those of you following other stories im going to try to UD those as well but who knows what will happen! I hope this chapter isnt poo though i do know that it is very short :/ Im so sorry but reviews and encouragement are always wanted! :))**

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But as I looked into the eyes of this man I knew that everything would eventually be okay. That it would work out someway, somehow. I don't know when and I knew it was going to be hard. Really hard. But I also knew that if I made it through this it would be worth it. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I simply stood and gazed at him. I felt myself slowly letting go. Letting go of everything that had happened in the recent years. The anger, betrayal, all of it was seeping from my body. I couldn't keep it up anymore. I needed him. He truly was my soulmate, as cliche as it sounded. And he had came. At the time I needed him the most, he was standing here, his eyes telling me everything I needed to know. That he was going to make everything right, he was going to take care of us. A strangled sound escaped my lips as he opened his arms slowly, as if he didn't know if I would actually accept the offer. And for a moment I didn't either. But before I could stop myself I was encased in familiar arms that had long been foreign to me.

When the tears subsided at stepped aside and let him and Eddie into the house. Momma was fixing a small lunch and Eddie sat down at the table with Amber while I weaved through the halls that I had grown up in. I slowly opened a door at the end of the hall and revealed a sleeping Alek. I heard Dimitri's sharp intake of breath. Alek was growing like a weed and it had been a while since his father had seen him. The look in Dimitri's eyes melted what little ice was left around my heart. I put my hand on his shoulder and pushed him towards his son. He washed me with his eyes if he could hold him and I smiled, giving him the answer he wanted, the answer he needed. We sat with Alek for I don't know how long before momma called us in for lunch.

After we ate, I had momma watch Alek, knowing she needed something to keep her mind off of things. Dimitri and I walked to the barn, saddled two horses and rode across the cattle crossings into the pastures filled with bred cows. We past herd after herd, finally reaching the stock barn. We dismounted, tying the horses to the hitching post. The view from here was amazing. It always took my breath as a kid and still never failed to do so. We passed bucking bull after bucking bull, before reaching the main office. I opened the door and made a gesture for Dimitri to step in. I followed suit and closed the door, trying to shield us from the majority of the harsh winter Texas was facing.

"This is yours now. Assuming you want to take on the responsibility of what my father has left you." I starred at his face, attempting to get a reaction from him. He nodded. "I would love to Roza. Abe was the father I never had." His eyes held grief and I remembered that my father meant a lot to Dimitri as well. I took the step that separated us and wrapped my arms around his waist. He automatically wrapped his arms around me in return. This felt right. I knew it was going to take work, for us to get back to what we were, and in truth I knew we never would be back there. We wouldn't be our carefree teenage selves we were when he first left for the circuit and I sat on the porch, still in high school, watching him leave. But I was perfectly fine with that, with not being those people anymore.

Dimitri would run my fathers rough stock ranch, I would raise our child, I would train barrel horses, and we would work together to make this work. To make us work. I would make sure of it this time. If it was the last thing I did. And as I walked into the main ranch house and were greeted by our family and friends I knew we wouldn't be in this alone.

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**Again R&R Leave me some love please! if you still think i deserve it that is! :))**


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